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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: Compassion (05/23/24)
Thirteen

This is a true story.

He was thirteen when he became my son. Shockingly abused and broken by his biological mother. No self-respect. Violent with sexual problems. Desperately in need of love.

But how could I, a woman, show the love of God to a teenage boy whose intention towards me was rape?

My new husband – his father – was in total denial about the situation. My then church elders had just one thing to say: “Just submit”. That did not help.

Help, Lord.

That was when I wrote the song “Whatever it takes, Lord.”
Ch:
Whatever it takes, Lord. Whatever it takes.
I want to be all that you want me to be.
Whatever it takes, please Lord, do it in me,
Whatever it takes (rpt)
V1:
Crystal clear waters proceed from Your throne.
As I immerse myself, make me Your own.
As I drink nought but what You give to me,
Whatever it takes, please Lord, do it in me
Whatever it takes.
Rpt chorus
V2:
Help me to give out the love You bestow,
Free me to walk in the way that You show.
Free me to be all You’ve called me to be.
Whatever it takes, please Lord, do it in me.
Whatever it takes.
Rpt chorus.

Fast-forward five years. Today he is in court as an adult. We can no longer protect him as we could when he was under eighteen.

I am home alone. On my knees. Sobbing, sobbing, sobbing. Jail will not help him. But everyone involved is convinced he will go to jail. “Please Lord,” I pray. “Have compassion on the abused child within him. Compassion and mercy.”

God has compassion on him and he gets off with a warning, a fine, and community service. Everyone involved is amazed and cannot work it out. I can. It was a miracle from a loving, compassionate God.

Fast-forward another year. Same scenario. Sobbing again. “Please, Lord”. But this time God says “No.” There is nothing compassionate about helping criminals think they can get away with disgusting behaviour. He goes to jail.

This time the elders were forced to admit there was a problem, and that everything I had said was true. But the teaching was that if a woman was submitted to her husband, God would not allow anything bad to happen. If anything bad happened it was proof the woman was at fault. So it was all my fault. Husbands were never the problem. Only wives. I had watched my son go insane and it was all my fault. It took me a long time to forgive them, but I finally did, thank God. Without God I could never have forgiven.

I finally got brave enough to ask my husband, “When did I ever disobey you?” Sulkily he admitted, “Never.” But that did not stop him from lying about me to the elders.

God showed me compassion. He quickened Jeremiah 29:11 to me. For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the LORD, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

God has indeed given me a future and a hope. It started when I finally got the courage to stand up to my husband, and, full of the peace of God, refused to have his girlfriend in my home. He was disgusted by my ‘unloving, unChristian’ attitude. I was never nasty to her. I just did not want her in my home. My husband walked out on me and went to live with her. She kicked him out in less than a week. But I was free.

Fast forwards several years. My son is awaiting trial again. 6th June, 2024. Please pray. Modern medicine cannot reverse the damage done to him by beatings he endured in jail. He is petrified. He hates jail. Absolutely hates it. Yet he keeps on behaving in such a way that he gets sent back.

I am expecting him to go to jail. Again.

But now I know this is not the end. There is no pit so deep that God is not deeper still. There is no jail so dark that God’s light cannot penetrate. There is no one so depraved that God cannot reach them. So I keep on praying. Friends pray with me.

The mercies of God are new every morning.

God’s compassion fails not.

Even in jail.

Thank You, Lord. Thank You. I trust my son into Your Hands.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Marlene Custer 
06/01/24
What a heart-rending story! I hope you found a sense of relief in sharing it. Prayers.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
06/03/24
My heart aches for you. I can only imagine your pain, but am delighted you have the strength, wisdom and courage God gave you. You might want to look at ways to smooth out your transition. For example, one way to do it instead of using fast forward would be to use the past tense and a phrase like five years later or the next ten years passed too fast and we were in court again. There are other ways to do this too. Check out Jan's Writing Basics on the message boards. You did a great job of writing on topic and left the reader with much to think about.
Ellen Carr 
06/07/24
Congratulations on your EC. Your story is a very sad one I'm sorry that you were given wrong advice and teaching at first but I'm so glad that those who disbelieved you did eventually believe you.I'm glad that our compassionate God has given you 'a future and a hope' as you put it. And you're right in saying that his compassion never fails.