The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 363 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Good opening sentence for topic, but some editors don't like quotes for opening lines. Good job keeping to the prompt.

Sentence about being a prude would probably be more effective at the end of paragraph.

When I read "thought patterns", I went "Huh?" I understand now you were talking about thoughts and ways of reasoning.

I would like to have read more about the steps that happened to change her mind.

"Another recent" trend does not go along with the train of thought for the rest of the story. It's facts rather than fiction (I suppose the beginning is fiction.)

Keep writing.
I enjoyed this story. You did a nice job of showing trends. You did jump through the years a bit fast. I understand the point you were making, but transitions will really help this. I enjoyed the dialog, but don't be afraid to add body language to show emotions to the readers. Thoughts are great too and can be put in italics to show the reader they are thoughts. I liked your message. It is encouraging to see Christianity grow in places where it was once forbidden. It gives me a sense of hope and peace.