Am I Two People? | Previous Challenge Entry

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TITLE: Am I Two People? | Previous Challenge Entry
By Donna Martelli
10/11/21
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Sometimes, I feel that I am two people living in one body.

I used to be single-minded, just doing what I wanted, trying, and often failing to do more good than bad. I had no conflicts in my soul, and I had all of my thoughts and actions justified in my mind. I could do anything that I wanted to do. If I did something that violated my standards of right and wrong, I resolved to do better next time. I was faithful to the things that I believed unless they did not serve my purposes, then I had to change them.

Down the road a bit, my choices were bringing only one disaster after another into my life. People were telling me. to “try God,” “get religion,” or “accept Jesus as your personal savior.” I knew that I needed saving, so I did the latter. I needed all of them: God the Father, His Son, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit to fix the mess I had created.

When they entered my life, I became a new creation. Suddenly, everything was new. I didn’t want to do the things I had always done; I wanted to please God. I told my friends about my new relationship with Jesus, and they all left me. Mostly they talked about church and how they disliked it, but I was not talking about church; I was talking about Jesus. Losing them hurt me, but I soon gained other friends who knew Jesus. Now, I could relate to them. I was faithful to my new friends, who were parts of the body of Christ with me.

Everything was great until this crazy conflict arose within me. I wanted to go after a lust from my former life, but I also wanted no part of that lust. Here’s where my question about being two people originated. It knocked me off-kilter, and I felt like I had done something wrong.

I read about myself in Romans 7:21-24 NLT:

“I have discovered this principle of life—that when I want to do what is right, I inevitably do what is wrong. I love God’s law with all my heart. But there is another power within me that is at war with my mind. This power makes me a slave to the sin that is still within me. Oh, what a miserable person I am! Who will free me from this life that is dominated by sin and death? Thank God! The answer is in Jesus Christ, our Lord. So, you see how it is: In my mind, I really want to obey God’s law, but because of my sinful nature, I am a slave to sin.”

No! I am not two people; I am one person with two natures that war against each other. I kept reading in Romans 8 and discovered the answer to this dilemma:

“Therefore, dear brothers and sisters, you have no obligation to do what your sinful nature urges you to do. For if you live by its dictates, you will die. But if through the power of the Spirit you put to death the deeds of your sinful nature, you will live. For all who are led by the Spirit of God are children of God.”

Well, I am a “dear sister,” and God’s Spirit lives in me. I have to put to death those lusts from my former life. Jesus took my sins into Himself and crucified them! It is only through the power of His Spirit that I can say “NO” to that old sinful nature. The only thing that takes care of it is crucifixion. My faithfulness to His Word renews my mind and transforms me into His likeness. I think that every fleshly lust we crucify with Christ makes us stronger. Each temptation tests our faith and strengthens it as we triumph over the flesh.

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