The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 293 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
04/18/21
Thank you for sharing this; there is always hope.
04/20/21
An important reminder that we shouldn’t give up on inviting people. This story is from Conner’s point of view You switched to Jason’s point of view when you said he was pleased with Conner’s progress. He would somehow have to communicate that to Conner since it’s Conner’s POV. Again, Your turn. Usssi important for us to reach out to our friends and not give up so I appreciated your story.
This is a lovely story. You did a nice job developing the characters. You don't need to use the topic word to be on topic. Some of your dialog didn't feel authentic. People speak in incomplete sentences, use slang. Try listening to people speaking when you can, and jot it down. Then next time try to imitate it in your story. You've a great foundation and the story has a strong message. Keep writing. I look forward to reading more of your work.