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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: NEWS (07/05/18)
Mission Accomplished

Head low on his horse's neck, they were like an arrow as they travelled through the storm. The relentless rain and skies darkened by black thunder clouds made it difficult to see far ahead. In spite of the continual wind and rain through his hair Jo was thankful for Dryzabone* protection and that the important message would remain dry.
“Go Diesel, Go Boy.” he encouraged his sure footed steed.
“They need this information as fast as possible. Lives may depend on it.”

At the mine, a couple of hours earlier, a rock fall had trapped two men. Without the right equipment they couldn't get them out. After the accident and discovery that the Jeep wouldn't start, suggestions flew back and forth. Someone shouted “Jo will go. Riding Diesel, he's the only one who can reach the base quickly.”
Another mate pushed the foreman's letter into his pocket and as Jo mounted his horse, slapped its chestnut rump. He could still hear the cheers ringing in his ears. Only Jo had come on horseback because he'd wanted to give Diesel a bit of exercise. This was a little more than he bargained for.

The ride was treacherous. Torrential rain had created deep puddles, slippery mud and washed out sections of the track. A possibility of broken limbs from many gum trees on each side increased the danger. However, Jo's main concern was whether they would be able to cross Nobbie's Creek. It could be a swollen torrent by now.
“Lord, I need your help.” he prayed.
“Please let us get across safely.”
Lightening split the sky and followed by loud rumbles confirmed the storm's continued ferocity. His thoughts went back to his mates. He prayed they would be OK.

“Woah Boy” shouted Jo over a clap of thunder as they rounded a sharp corner. They managed to halt at the creek's edge and just dodge a low gum tree branch. Now twice its size Nobbie's Creek gushed and swirled as it carried shrubbery and rubbish downstream.

“There must be a way across.” he thought as he carefully guided Diesel along its bank.
Suddenly there was a loud crack. The ground reverberated as a huge dead gum tree fell across the creek a short way upstream. Jo could see it amazingly create a temporary dam.
“Thank you Lord. Just what we need.” he said. Under Jo's direction Diesel headed for the shallower water and cautiously but steadily carried Jo safely to the other side. They just made it as the gum swung round because of the built up creek's pressure. Aware of his mates in danger, Jo urged Deisel on and the big hearted stallion found new energy.

The remainder of the trip was arduous but, thankfully, the storm began to subside. After three hours, both horse and rider were exhausted when they reached their destination, but they had completed their important task. The boss read the letter Jo delivered and immediately organised all the necessary equipment to be sent to the crew at the mine. There was just enough room for a helicopter to land bringing paramedics, appliances and machinery. No one had broken any bones, the Jeep could stay until it was repaired and the rest of Jo's mates were transported safely back.

It was a happy time of reunion. There were many pats on the back and cheers. Jo thanked the Lord for the fallen gum tree as he and Diesel were declared heroes. They had carried the news so help could be sent. Both rider and horse would sleep well.

*Dryzabone is an Australian oilskin waterproof coat used extensively in the outback and on farms.

Does your life seem like Jo's assignment? Are you rushing madly through storms of life always feeling pressured by the next calamity or emergency. Here is some really good news. God knows what your life is like. God sees your dilemma. You are not alone and here is more good news. He understands and is ready to help you. He can give you peace, strength, contentment and joy as well as help you through your present difficulty. God loves you, whatever your situation. God already has the plan for your life and is waiting to help you. Go ahead and ask Him today.






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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jenny Fulton 
07/14/18
Great job creating an exciting story with a thoughtful application.
LaVonne Wood
07/14/18
Nice story with lots of excitement. I like the part where God caused the tree to break just at the right time. Keep writing!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
07/20/18
This is a great story. You pulled me in right away and held my attention throughout. I noticed a couple of little things. When using taglines, you need a comma at the end of the dialog or in some cases when it's not a tagline like he said, you can use a period after the dialog, but then capitalize the next letter. For example this is more of a narrative line: “Go Diesel, Go Boy.” He encouraged his sure-footed steed as he leaned foreward and kicked the horse. (I added the leaning forward to create a picture and usually when combining two words to make a modifier, you should use a hyphen.) This is more of a tagline: “Woah Boy,” shouted Jo. So here you use a comma and lowercase letter.
You did a great job creating suspense. I liked how you moved the storyline along using dialog, thoughts (you can put those in italics) and body language. Your message is great and you did a fantastic job of showing that so much that you really didn't need that last paragraph. I enjoyed the story and your unique take on the topic. Congratulations on ranking 6th in your level and 14 overall. The highest rankings can be found on the message boards.