Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: FINISH (05/26/16)
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TITLE: Dear Mom | Previous Challenge Entry
By Wanda Draus
06/02/16 -
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This love and joy would sometimes stir feelings of sadness when thinking of her own mother and their relationship. Carol’s relationship with her mom was complex. On the one hand she wanted to believe her mother loved her as other mother’s loved their daughters but her love was always conditional, always harsh.
Carol remembered her mother being emotionally distant, withholding any sort of affection or praise. Carol’s mother constantly let her know she didn’t like the way she wore her hair, she didn’t like the way she walked, talked, or laughed. Nothing Carol did could ever please her mother.
Preparing lunch for the girls, wiping her hands on her apron, Carol’s thoughts took her back to a play in grade school. She was over the top excited to get the lead part. She thought now, without any doubt, her mother would be proud of her. When the evening of the play arrived, all the parents crowded into the small auditorium to see their children perform, The Wizard of Oz.
Her memories still fresh as if it happened yesterday, recalled peeking from behind the stage curtain to locate her mother. She was sitting in the back row toward the exit but that was ok, she was there. At the end of the play, while other girls were getting bouquets of flowers, Carol searched everywhere for her mother but she had left early.
Her mother was already sleeping by the time her friend’s parents had dropped her off. The next morning, Carol woke up early as not to miss her mother before she went to work. She was having her coffee when Carol bounced into the kitchen and asked her what she thought of the play.
Sipping her hot cup of coffee, her mother shrugged, “I thought the play was too long, that’s why I left and I believe another character would have been more suited for you than Dorothy. Please make sure you lock up before you leave.”
That was the way it was all through the years, even on her wedding day, her mother was stoic and seemed almost jealous of the love Carol had found. However, It would not only be her husband’s love but God’s love that would eventually help Carol sort out her relationship with her mother and define the wife and mom she would become.
The sound of the patio door opening jolted Carol back from her memories. These two precious gems were ready to eat and continue with an art project they started yesterday. She hugged her girls and told them just how beautiful they were. The same words she had longed to hear from her own mother.
As the girls ate their lunch, Carol remembered after the incident with the play, sitting on her bed her mother had painstakingly decorated with the latest theme, writing her mother a letter. She got as far as “Dear Mom,” but failed to put into words the sadness and confusion she felt about their relationship. She tossed it away, unfinished.
It was just after the birth of her first daughter, Carol began piecing together her mom’s childhood. It’s funny how we don’t think of our mothers as kids. It would be a couple of years before Carol realized the loss of her mother’s own mom at a very tender age would set the stage for her mother to be detached and feel unloved herself.
Memories set aside and all the activities done for the day, Carol ran the bath water for the girls, combed their hair, tucked them into bed and read them their favorite story. Kneeling by their bedside she prayed for her girls, for their protection, for their health and most of all they would always know how much they are loved by her and God.
As she turned out the light to her daughters room, Carol went to her desk and pulled out pen and paper. "Dear Mom," this time she would finish the letter she started many years ago.
Instead of sadness and confusion it would be filled with words of understanding and redeeming love and hopefully a healing for both of them.
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“The more a daughter knows the details of her mother’s life the stronger the daughter will be.” Anita Diamant.
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You however, wrote a heartfelt account that I was incredibly drawn to. You can't write an article like that without having personal experience on the matter. Of this I am fairly sure.
My mom never liked me and even as a very young boy, I could easily sense the disconnect; the lack of warmth and tenderness, that she certainly shared with my sisters.
But I couldn't know then, just how inexplicable this lack of love, and consequently, lack of loyalty, could possibly be. After all, I had many friends my age that were smothered by their moms adoration; Mother > Son ( Daughter ) an inherent bond defying any other relationship, here on earth.
Yours was a very gutsy and fearless, word from the heart.
In this life there are ineffective teachers, doctors, mathmatitions, etc.
Unfortunately, there are also lousy parents. Based on your words, you will never be one of them.
Thanks very much for sharing.
dRae