Why? | Previous Challenge Entry

how it works

TITLE: Why? | Previous Challenge Entry
By Cynthia G. Peoples
03/02/15
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Why?

“Why me?” Jarrod asked, “And why now?”

I didn't know what to say so I just gripped the steering wheel tighter and kept on driving. I was trying to think of a good answer... but at the moment...I was just simply at a loss for words.

“I don't know, hon.” I finally said, “I don't understand it either but I do know we just have to keep trusting in God.”

“I'm trying to Nicole, but it's tough. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired all of the time....I'm sick of going to the doctor's appointments, and all the chemo treatments and radiation, and I can't stand not being able to get up and go to work anymore.”

“I know it's tough Jarrod, it's tough on both of us. But we just have to have faith and remember.... that's what faith is....it's trusting that God is in total control and HE knows what's best for us even if we don't understand what's going on or why.”

Jarrod didn't reply....he just leaned back against the car seat and closed his eyes. I glanced over at him and held back the tears that threatened to escape. He had just recently lost the last of his curly black hair and now his bald head was beaded with sweat. There were huge bags and black circles under his eyes and spidery veins crawled just beneath the bluish tinted skin covering his frail frame.

I tried not to remember the tall, handsome, strong man that he used to be because it didn't even matter to me. This was my husband....my best friend....the love of my life....and my soul mate. I didn't care what he looked like now....I just couldn't fathom losing him and having to live without him for any reason.....especially having to give him up to the monster called cancer.

I continued to drive down the interstate towards the hospital. “Why IS this happening to us Lord,” I asked myself, “Why now when things were going so well. We have a wonderful marriage.....our business was going good ....we were financially stable and both of us are happier than we've ever been before.... so why, Lord....Why ARE you allowing this to happen?”

Over the next eighteen months I managed to stay strong and do what I had to do to take care of my husband. I dropped out of my nursing classes and gave up my part time job at the hospital so I could be there for him 24/7. I learned to take care of his gastric tube, a peg line, a central line, and administered tube feeding along with tending to the business and normal activities of daily living.

People would ask.... “How do you do it?” and just shake their heads.

“I just ask God to give me the strength to do what I have to do every single day and HE does it.” I said, “Without HIM, I couldn't do it.”

After the death of my husband, I strayed away from God and my faith....and even from my family and friends for several years. But God is so just and faithful to us that no matter what happens or doesn't happen in our lives HE still loves us unconditionally....HE'S always there waiting on us with open arms....protecting us....helping us.....and drawing us back to HIMSELF....JESUS CHRIST.... who is and always will be the creator and the author of our faith.....past....present....and future!

“For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:13 NLT)

“Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.” (Matthew 19:26 NLT)

Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. (Hebrews 12:2 KJV)

Who is he that condemneth? It is Christ that died, yea rather, that is risen again, who is even at the right hand of God, who also maketh intercession for us. (Romans 8: 34 KJV)

Fiction...based on a true story

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