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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 3 - Advanced)
Topic: BACK TO BASICS (02/16/17)
The wonder of it all was that in the twinkling of an eye this sinner turned saint and Jesus immediately became my first love. Light destroyed darkness and the old passed away; all things became new. The world and all its allure turned to ashes. I had no regrets nor did I have any memory of the past, for what I was, I was no more. I had been reborn. It was as though I were a babe lying in the arms of my Creator as he fed me the milk of the Word. Over time milk gave way to meat and with meat came growth. The babe was no more. I had grown through the teachings of the Holy Spirit who now dwelled within my heart. He became my father, teacher, friend and lover of my soul.

My prayer closet became my doorway to the Holy of Holies where I met with my Lord . it was there he would reveal his love for me and I for him. At times I could hear his voice in the silence where no words needed to be spoken. We shared heart to heart, spirit to spirit. He revealed great and mighty things I knew not. The depth of the Word was opened to me and it became a roadmap for my life's journey.

I could not get enough of him. I was starved for more and he fed me morsels of sweet delight from his very heart. I felt so thirsty to know him better and he gave me water from the well that never runs dry.

He gave me opportunities to speak before many, sharing what he had revealed to me and I felt it gave those who were listening a desire to know him better. He made me a scribe that I might write what the Spirit was saying and it seemed to spark a fire in others to hear him as I had.

I was so in love with my Lord. There were times when in the Spirit we dance across the heavens as he sung over me. I thought it would last forever, but alas, life moves on and things change.

Circumstances brought me to a very large, well-established church with parishioners who had been there nearly their entire lives. It was difficult to fit in. I was lost among scholars and theologians. I had no formal teaching, therefore I felt I had nothing to offer. I was intimidated by their knowledge. I had been given so much yet I had put fear of man before God. It seemed after that my faith and trust faded away as the morning mist.

I found myself descending into a pit of loneliness and despair. It began with an illness that took my mind to a place I never wanted to be. I could no longer hear my Lord's voice. Without it I could no longer write. He had been my inspiration. Without the sense of his presence, I could no longer pray. I found that life without him was a living death; it had no meaning. It created a void so great, it swallowed who I was. The emptiness was so vast, like the universe, too great a span to cross. I was in a state of nothingness.

This living death lasted for several years. During that time I would try to call out to the Lord. I wanted so badly to hear his voice again and feel his presence, but my mind was so muddled my desire died before it became a reality.

After a time my mind began to clear and with that came repentance. My heart cried out. "Lord, you once took this unlovely child and turned it into a thing of beauty. Please take this broken vessel and make it whole again. Take this tattered and torn garment and restore it. I then sat in silence and waited for him to speak. At last I heard his dear, sweet voice calling out to me. He instructed me to go back to the beginning and return to my first love.

God in his mercy had restored me. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. Love poured over me as anointing oil. I turned and there was my Jesus. I ran into the waiting arms and once again he became my first love and now my only love.

Blessings,
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Dennis Gallemore
02/25/17
Powerful essay!
Sherry Brock
02/26/17
It is so amazing how our Lord iloves us and is always ready to mend our brokenness. You did a good job writing in a style that captures your emotions.