The Official Writing Challenge
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11/26/15
Interesting analogy. My garden produced a lot of carrots this year. Not having room in the frig for them all, I buried them in sand to keep them nice and crisp.

Creative entry. God bless! LaVonne
11/27/15
Enjoyable story with a great analogy. Your entry held my interest from beginning to end. Thanks for the enlightenment shared in this story.
11/28/15
Creative and interesting analogy. I'm still trying to ponder what type of carrot I am?
11/28/15
Interesting use of analogy - without getting 'carrot' away!
I learned quite a bit from your carrot analogy and it made me smile too. The main suggestion I would offer is to watch your voice. You start off with second person (you) then switch between it and first person plural. The second person voice can be difficult to pull off, but you were doing a good job because you used humor. I still got the message when you used you, but it didn't feel overly preachy. Usually, I say the opposite (that using you can sound like a lecture), but because you approached it with humor, I enjoyed it, and when you switched to we, I felt your tone changed a bit. Jan's Writing Basics has a great lesson on voice on the message boards. After her lesson on the second person, I did end up writing a tongue-in-cheek story that did well. I think you did a nice job of handling that difficult voice. I'd urge you to think about going back and make it all second person and turn up the humor a bit. If you do that, I can see this being a great article for a magazine. I like your message and the Bible verses you used to reinforce it. This is definitely original and fresh. I truly enjoyed it.
I learned quite a bit from your carrot analogy and it made me smile too. The main suggestion I would offer is to watch your voice. You start off with second person (you) then switch between it and first person plural. The second person voice can be difficult to pull off, but you were doing a good job because you used humor. I still got the message when you used you, but it didn't feel overly preachy. Usually, I say the opposite (that using you can sound like a lecture), but because you approached it with humor, I enjoyed it, and when you switched to we, I felt your tone changed a bit. Jan's Writing Basics has a great lesson on voice on the message boards. After her lesson on the second person, I did end up writing a tongue-in-cheek story that did well. I think you did a nice job of handling that difficult voice. I'd urge you to think about going back and make it all second person and turn up the humor a bit. If you do that, I can see this being a great article for a magazine. I like your message and the Bible verses you used to reinforce it. This is definitely original and fresh. I truly enjoyed it.
12/01/15
Very creative...I really enjoyed this.

God bless~
12/03/15
Congratulations on your 3rd place in the Advanced Category, Chris.

I really did enjoy the humor and the message in this analogy.
12/03/15
Congrats Chris on your win.
God Bless
Congratulations on ranking 3rd in your level and 15 overall! Happy Dance!