The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
04/11/14
This was cute and different. I loved the storyline, and enjoyed the conclusion. Well done.

God bless~
04/15/14
There is a lot here in just a few words! I can see it being expanded into a full story.
04/17/14
Congrats!

God bless~
04/17/14
Congratulations! Well done!
This is great. I'm not big on romance stories but this is the best kind. You really did a delightful job of pulling the topic in. I love the idea of an observant man too. ;) The only red ink is I had to reread because I thought they were both going to the bank to do business and I was confused because they went to the car. When I reread I did see that she parked at the bank. I think my confusion came because in my area if you parked in another vendor's lot, your car would get towed. The mistake was mine as I found out when I went back. I only mention it because it did interrupt my flow a bit and if it did for me, then others might have too. Again though if I had been reading more carefully, I would have gotten it. You really did a great job. I laughed about the ring part. Oh that can be so like some girls who so desperately want a relationship. There are several wise messages in this piece! Congratulations on ranking 4th in your level and 21 overall. Happy Dance!!
04/19/14
Congrats Rachel! I'm just getting around to reading some stories now! This was great, creative and clever writing!