The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
This was cute and different. I loved the storyline, and enjoyed the conclusion. Well done.

God bless~
There is a lot here in just a few words! I can see it being expanded into a full story.

God bless~
Congratulations! Well done!
This is great. I'm not big on romance stories but this is the best kind. You really did a delightful job of pulling the topic in. I love the idea of an observant man too. ;) The only red ink is I had to reread because I thought they were both going to the bank to do business and I was confused because they went to the car. When I reread I did see that she parked at the bank. I think my confusion came because in my area if you parked in another vendor's lot, your car would get towed. The mistake was mine as I found out when I went back. I only mention it because it did interrupt my flow a bit and if it did for me, then others might have too. Again though if I had been reading more carefully, I would have gotten it. You really did a great job. I laughed about the ring part. Oh that can be so like some girls who so desperately want a relationship. There are several wise messages in this piece! Congratulations on ranking 4th in your level and 21 overall. Happy Dance!!
Congrats Rachel! I'm just getting around to reading some stories now! This was great, creative and clever writing!