The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
04/10/14
I've had the opinion for a long time that good short story writers are truly clever (how I find myself now writing some is another story and certainly doesn't put me in that category). I think in addition that writers who come up with interesting approaches to a story outside the normal way of writing a story certainly fall into the "clever" camp. I liked the way you put this together.
04/11/14
Beautiful sentiments toward the end...nicely done.

God bless~
04/13/14
It is hard to imagine another entry embodying the meaning of chillax better than this.

I love your approach. This was such an easy read. It was almost more like poetry than a short story. Just a great job.

Thanks!
04/14/14
Very creative and interesting read. Thanks for sharing.
04/14/14
Once again, the most unquote entry I've seen this week. I love that you so often think outside the box.

You made me want to talk to God and eat ice cream. :)
04/14/14
I think your distinctive approach nailed it!

Pleasurable and philosophical to ponder.
04/14/14
Nice! Great writing as well as unique structure.

Years ago I recorded an instrumental CD project in which no one ever noticed that the track titles, when read together, was a prayer.

Well done.
I like your out-of-the-box thinking on this. Usually I don't see this except in poems. You definitely covered the topic and delivered the message. I did notice a lot of little errors like missing commas or quotation marks. While I admire your creativity, for me, I think your message might have worked better in an actual story so the reader could really get to know your character. A story would allow her to open the freezer door, sigh, shut it,and walk away. Spin around, then she opens it a crack, peeks in, while glancing around to see if anyone was watching before grabbing the ice cream. Those few lines could really give insight into the MC's personality and emotional state. I'm not saying one way is better than the other, but just giving you my personal opinion. You did do a wonderful job with adding the peace. I think that is missing from Chillax and you made that so clear for me. It brought a tear to my eye. Sometimes I o just need to relax, but I always need the peace you wrote of. It touched my heart at the perfect time and after all that's what writing for Christ does and you did nail that! Congratulations on ranking 8th in your level. The highest rankings can be found in the message boards. Happy Dace!