The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 824 times
Member Comments
I really enjoyed this story. I was captivated from the start, and my attention was held all the way to the end, by which point I really wanted my own little piece of Paradise!! Thanks for a great read.
A delightful and entertaining read with a great message. Well done.
lol. I want a piece! Please? I'm positively salivating! Great ending.
Oh, no kidding! You described that piece of pie perfectly.

Not a stickler for commas (b/c I do so poorly on that myself) I'll still point out that you need a comma before old-timer. I stumbled there, so I point it out.

This is creative and fun. I enjoyed it very much. I like the setting, the voice and the characters, especially Myrna and Old-Timer Tom.
I feel cheated to be promised such a tactile experience and not be able to enjoy my wedge of pie. No, not cheated, but totally 'desserted!'
Yes, I loved this totally different take on the topic. An un-fork-edible entry!!
I love the story, the characters, the sense of someone new trying to feel his way around his strange new world. But, your punchline at the end was the best part of all. It's a sermon in a nutshell! Great work!
I have heard certain pies described as a piece of Heaven on earth and Heaven described as
pie-in-the sky LOLbut

I love your story of Paradise pie just descriptive delight throughout, then the powerfully visual analogy of it all hits you at the end! (when everything else is gone- Jesus is the hope to feed your soul that our sins are already paid for by Jesus, but we must accept it)

Dare I say it was a SWEET read! LOL
how original and how clever and entertaining and rememeberful :-) I think it has to be a winner. may i suggest one little improvement?? title is a bit ... boring to go with such a lovely piece ... 'a slice of paradise' would be much more apt
or 'the wager' ... just a thought.
I Agree! A lovely story with a truly creative twist. As suggested, your title needs a little polish.:-)

Psst...I searched high and low and couldn't find it. Should I look somewhere else for "signage?"

The diaglogue of your folksy, delightful characters was a great match. Wonderful message, perfect ending!
Love this story, love the simplicity, love the dialogue, love the characters, would love to read more of this story. Great job!
Well done Joe; good to see your commendation.
Enjoyable & nicely-written illustration of Who picks up the tab. Your dialogue & descriptions captured the flavor of the people & the pie quite well. Congrats on your high placement!