The Official Writing Challenge
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Great descriptions of what I thought was a ride a little closer to something like Thunder Mountain Railroad at Disneyland than a kiddie roller coaster. LOL! That twist at the end was perfect!

02/22/10
I feel the same way about roller coasters. The last one I rode was a kiddie one, too. Just thinking of tackling one of the "real" ones is terrifying. Great job writing this.
I love rollercoasters, but this was a great take on someone who does not.

I laughed outload at the Kiddie Coaster!
You wrote about my wife, I know you did, I know you did. Well, surely not but you fooled me with a great read that I can relate to. We don't do roller coasters anymore.
02/23/10
Been there done that...don't do it anymore! Your story evoked the emotions,fear and cries for rescue I felt riding my last roller coaster! Good job!
~Cathy~
had me grinning the whole time-- I was (am) an "Alaina" and I was born to a "Lorraine". good descriptions, lots of showing, dialogue great for the situation-- felt very real. nice job. the only thing that didn't quite ring true (pink pen, not really red) is that there aren't many kiddie coasters in the dark-- but it does add a nice twist. well done!
I laughed so hard at the last line I think I need to go freshen up. I'm terrified of roller coasters and I felt for Lorraine the whole time. Brilliant job!
02/24/10
LOL! Love your last line! You took me with you on this hair-raising "kiddie ride". :) Fun stuff!
lol, had me chuckling all the way through! You even surprised me at the end about it being a "kiddy coaster." Wow, too funny :-D
06/01/10
I so empathize with your MC.