The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 962 times
Member Comments
An interesting story. I enjoyed traveling with you.
Your descriptions are incredibly vivid. Wonderful word pictures throughout this piece. Great building of atmosphere. I felt like I was there with you. And I REALLY like that last sentence.
Very descriptive, I could sense everything, the heat, the wind, the rain. I especially like the cry of the peacocks and what their call foreshadowed. I liked, too, the journaling of the event, before it was washed away...very in keeping with the theme of the article. Well done!
This flavorful piece was a page out of Travel Magazine. I enjoying the intensely strong visuals (like the crushed car) and the "put me there" descriptions of the heat. Awesome writing!
This is wonderfully well written. I was particularly impressed by the care with which you selected each verb, painting a magnificent word picture in the process.
Great descriptions all the way through. I thoroughly enjoyed reading about the monsoon.
Thank you for the zip trip! You had me looking forward to those raindrops too.

The trip was from Delhi through Punjab and back to Delhi, then you were to fly home. I couldn't figure out where "home" was for you. Also it was difficult to know who was in the van with you.

Overall, I enjoyed your written travels. Keep writing and don't buy any noisy peacocks!
Vivid descriptions throughout.
You are a superb word carpenter! How I would love to travel with YOU! Kudos!
Your descriptions are superb, not only of the rains, but of how important the rains are to the people. The anxiety felt when they come late, the joy with which they are greeted, and then the nervousness when people remember how destructive they can also be - all this came across. And for those whose lives are in part divorced from the rhythm of the seasons this is a very instructional piece. Very well done.
Such wonderful touches on the culture of India here. I was slightly curious as to where they had come from (I read your note on the boards) and a one-liner explanation would've helped that. I think the descriptions were very well done, especially with the rain when it finally poured down.
I felt I was with you on this trip. Thank you for a very well written and interesting story. This was indeed an excellent entry.
This is wonderfully written. I felt like I was going along with you. I can relate to the farmer's needing rain since I am married to a farmer. I think everyone knows in their heads how important rain is, but somehow, I don't know if hearts are involved until they experience it first hand. Kudos!
So much delightful details. I felt like I was visiting a place I've never actually been to, but you did such a great job I could easily picture it all.
I feel like I just visited in their shoes! I finished reading and expected to see it pouring outside! Excellent imagery.
Great description and flow in this story. Awesome.
Thanks for the quick glimpse of a peice of your trip and a piece of India. Enjoyed it.