The Official Writing Challenge
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04/17/08
Oooo, great last line! The title fit nicely, too. Good job.
04/20/08
Great alliteration in your title! I had to smile at your "cake and ice cream after 11pm." You did a great job of describing the excitement of your family over the baby's expected arrival. I loved the ending, "Joe cracked jokes, Dad simmered." Your MC was so wise to not expect her husband to be exactly like her dad. This was so much fun to read.
Am I the only reader who felt like hitting Joe with a pillow? I think you did a remarkable job invoking emotion in your reader with the frustration and hurt of your mc. The dad is like mine, except mine would have had me in that car.

You may get this comment twice or not at all. The submit button took me to the home page of faithwriters and I didn't copy before hand.

04/21/08
Great title--I love a title with alliteration, and this one is also rich in inference.

This is a very good story; the only thing that distracted me a bit was several hyphenated words that didn't need hyphens. But that's so minor--this is a very strong story.
04/21/08
What struck me about this piece was how well the dialogue was scripted. Just enough citations to make it clear but enough jumping around to convey the sense of panic. Excellent.
04/21/08
Great job showing the contrast between the two dads. Yes, I wanted to hit Joe with the pillow -- or something harder, especially when he suggested waking her parents instead of him.

The title was well explained in the story, but still added to it. Awesome job.
If I could wait till weds and right like this I'd jump and shout. I liked everthing about this. What a dad!
04/21/08
This is good, very well written, enough overriding wit to keep it flowing. The last like was the clincher. Thanks.
I would have bopped Joe! You related his insensitivity very well.
I enjoyed this.
04/23/08
That Joe...but I suppose someone had to be the calm one (just didn't expect it to be the father!). Good story-very nice dialogue, too, and I love the title.
04/23/08
This was so fun! Love, love your title. Thanks!
Loved the dialog of your dad: “Your mother can call while I put your suitcase in the car. It’s up to you if you get Joe up or not. With all five of you kids, I never left your mother.”
Really shows the relationship there, which I would expect to be quite common for fathers after only 13 months of their daughter's marriage. :)
Good job recalling those events.
I was engaged the entire time while reading this well written story.

I agree with everyone else that the last line was the clincher.

I appreciate you sharing your story. Your father sounds like a great man.
04/23/08
SUPER title, Angel - and an excellent job of showing the contrast between the two. Love that last line.
Excellent story and love the humor.
Yeah, I thought Joe was bit of a cad, too. What kind of memories does that leave everyone with? I really liked the way you were able to weave so many emotions into this piece all the way from mom, dad, brother and sister and even Joe - all so well done and believable. I liked, too, how level-headed mom was through out the ordeal. Great job and wonderful title...so fitting.
04/23/08
Very good story. I wanted to slap Joe from the first sentence. You "showed" Dad's character very well. Nice job with the topic.
oooh! I wanted to 'whack' Joe. lol. You did so well with their characters and especially the title and the last line. That brought a smile for me. Very well done-I enjoyed the read! ^_^
I really liked your story, and I really wanted to smack Joe upside the head. LOL. Your story kept me interested all the way through. Great writing!
04/25/08
I enjoyed this one very much. The title was irresistible, and I really like the parents of the main character. I got frustrated with the hubby, though...
Well-written and believable.
04/26/08
Great title and really strong writing. This showed great family dynamics and the last line was awesome. I really enjoyed the whole thing!