The Official Writing Challenge
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Member
Date
04/10/08
Cool story. You really got into the mind of a teenage girl. Great going.
Very good. I'd love to know what happened next - How did her grandparents' attitudes and beliefs change her thoughts about her baby? This would be great if it was extended a little.
04/10/08
I like that you stayed in "email character" by not using capital letters to begin sentences and you used symbols like "&". Then I love your "no virus message" -- making this very authentic looking. :) It was probably a good thing you gave us a Key at the bottom. Your message is sad. I'm so glad the grandparents in your story were there.
04/10/08
This was touching, real, sad, and yet comforting to know she will be in good hands with grandma.. very realistic... loved the MC ...poor baby...
This story was sad, and yet it had me laughing a lot. I think it's because I work in the computer field, and I have seen more than my share of these types of e-mail messages.

I too enjoyed the anti-virus message at the bottom .It really made this look like a real e-mail. You did a wonderful job with this very unique entry. :)
This was an interesting read and sad too. I would like to know more about what happened with this young girl and her baby.