The Official Writing Challenge
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The content is great in itself. I have to confess, however, that this is something I'd rather read in story form than in poetry form.
This is great writing, strong verbs and descriptions. I agree with the other comment, although this was good, this would be an amazing short story piece as well! Good job!
A nice story but not what one would call poetry in my humble opinion. Nice try however.
A lovely narrative!
I like this. It's a great story.