The Official Writing Challenge
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This made me a bit teary; sad, yet sweet.
Beautiful little story, but where are your commas? Desperately in need of about twenty or more, plus perhaps semi-colins, or break up your sentences, and make you a Writer of great stories. Without a comma, a story runs together haphazardly and the Reader gets lost. But very sweet story - now get the punctuation, and You'll soon be a Pro!
I enjoyed this story--beautiful descriptive writing! I could just see the little girl sniffling and wiping her nose against her pink sweater, and even picture her drawing vividly. Very moving. The dialogue also brought her to life.

The sentences could be a little shorter--that would make them easier to follow.

I was drawn in (no pun intended!) by the title--I like anything with the word "unlikely" in it!
This is a wonderful story that brought tears to my eyes. It was very well written and I didn't even notice the absence of commas, etc. The pictures you drew in your writing were very vivid which made it a work of art in itself.