The Official Writing Challenge
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Great story. You certainly held my attention.
I liked this story, and wasn't at all bothered by the lack of information on what happened and how. The story of two people from different cultures bonding through their personal relationship with Jesus was very uplifting. Thank you for sharing this.
Very compelling, engaging story. Oh, the hope from a song like that, and it's Subject. I was praying for them both all the way through! (Oh, and thanks for stretching my memory of high school Spanish as well!)
Great, original approach to the topic. I loved the way you opened it after the "event" had already happened--gives it more of a sense of urgency. Very strong entry!
Pretty good, very descriptive. I wish I'd known where/why/how he'd gotten trapped. It was a little confusing for me not to be able to identify with a possible life and death struggle.
Otherwise, pretty good reading :)
Although I was curious as to what had happened, I did not feel like it was missing. Your story had enough suspense and resolution that the actual event can be left open to everyone's imagination - in my opinion.
A little mystery of how they ended up in their perdicimate? Flood? huricane? doesn't matter - I still enjoyed it :)
A very captivating story and it held my attention. I enjoyed reading this very much. Well done. Thanks for sharing it
Beautiful story--it haunted me. I loved the vivid description, especially in the opening line about the dried blood on the narrator's fingertips...and the aura of mystery threading through the story. Also enjoyed the character singing "Jesus Loves Me" in Spanish--because I learned those verses from a little girl in Mexico on a church mission trip!
Enjoyed the story's ending, too--how the two victimized characters each thought of the other's rescue!
Oh, wow. I loved this. While I do want to know what happened, I think it almost would have been revealing TOO much if you had told us what happened. I was excited that I could even understand a but of the Spanish! :)
Quite an attention grabber! This was very nicely written, and I loved the ending.
You had a good beginning hook and you carried the drama well throughout the piece. I knew enough about what happened - part or all of a building collapsed. It held my attention. You are VERY GIFTED with description, something I feel I lack. It's funny how, in moments of crisis, we ALL become believers. I would have liked to see this ending be a bit more complex, however, because with the incredible talent for description and hooking me into the drama, it was over too soon for my liking. Of course, it's very hard with the 750 word count.
'The only sensation I had was the dried blood on my fingertips.' Great attention grabbing first sentence and compelling reading right to the end. yeggy
Dub, I loved this. The only thing that knocked it down a little for me was not knowing what had happened. As a reader, I kept trying to figure it out. Still, excellent work.