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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: PLEAD (11/30/23)
FaithWriters Challenge – Plead
December 12/1 to 12/ 7

When Helping Hurts

Our daughter Sarah called, her voice sounding very concerned, “The pediatrician called and said the scan of the cyst on Shane’s (our three-year-old grandson) forehead was larger than anticipated and may cause pressure on his eye and it would have to be removed.”

She wanted to know if, since I worked in the operating room at the hospital, I could be in the room with Shane during the surgery. I explained that the policy of the hospital didn’t permit a family member to be in the room during the surgery but, because I was on staff it would be ok to be with him in the holding area and the surgical room until he went to sleep, but not during the procedure.

Although every surgery has its risks this was a reasonably safe procedure. Because our daughter Sarah and son-in-law, Ben, were extremely concerned I did my best to keep a cheerful, positive tone. This Grama had to admit she was a little anxious too and breathed a prayer to God to help us all. After all of the preparation, it was off to the holding area. Things were going pretty well and Shane seemed to enjoy all the attention from family and the nurses. Once in the holding area, there were even more nurses and an anesthesiologist who fussed over him as he explained to us what would happen next.

It was time to go into the surgical room. I carried Shane down to the room, by his request. It was all becoming way too real now. As I laid him on the bed, Shane grabbed my arm and said, “I don’t want to lay down I want to go home now.” Holding his hand, I assured him that he would be alright. I could see he was getting upset, as he was wide-eyed searching the room as if looking for a way out. I kept reassuring him he was okay and that Grama was with him and Mommy and Daddy were right in the other room waiting for him to come back.

The anesthesiologist explained to Shane, that he would be getting sleepy soon. He slowly and gently held the oxygen mask just above his face at first, the gases began to make him sleepy. Tears began to well up in his eyes as he held out an arm and said “Grama, I don’t want to sleep, I want to go home.” His pleading eyes said, “Why aren’t you helping me?” It was breaking my heart, but I had to hold it together for Shane’s sake.

Only seconds later he was sound asleep, but it seemed like an eternity. I had no idea how hard it would be. I had taken many children from their parents and into those rooms, staying with them and holding their hands, but this was my grandchild who trusted me and I couldn’t help him. It has an effect on your heart that is inconsolable.

I wondered if Shane would ever trust me again. Would he still love me and know that I love him even though I didn’t, in his mind's eye, come to “rescue” him when he needed me? How would I explain that I did it because it was for his good?

Shane is now 35 years old and has three children of his own. It’s a rare week that I don’t hear from him. He never mentions that day in the operating room. He only talks about all the times Pop and Gram loved him and remembers we were there for him.

God is good!

How often do we get frustrated or fearful when we ask God to remove us from pain and difficulties? We beg and plead with tears but he doesn’t come to our rescue. We don’t understand why, but we can trust that God does know what is for our good, even when we may not understand. God wants us to grow in our faith, trust in Him, and deepen our relationship with him.

If we remember all He has done for us in the past, we’ll be able to trust Him with our future. (Romans 8:18,28 NIV).

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 NIV

non-fiction.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
12/14/23
This is a powerful piece. It brought tears to my eyes. As a former RN, a current mom and grandma, I can totally relate on many levels. It took me a while to learn how to parent adult children and be the grandma I'm meant to be, not a copy of my grandmother. The dialog feels a bit too formal. Don't be afraid to make it authentic by using incomplete sentences, slang, and accents. You did a great job of writing on topic. You have a clear message that most can relate to, and I liked the Bible verses you chose.
Jeremy Kirby
12/28/23
Awe that story really touched my heart! I know the gut wrenching feeling that comes from being seemingly helpless. I have 3 boys of my own and at times all I could do was hold them and tell them it was going to be ok and let the Dr. do the rest. That is actually all they remember, that we were there with them and for them. Well written story, it tugged at my heart strings!