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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Hear / Here (01/26/23)
They Got Me Good

I remember a year ago when my daughter Connie gave me the best gift ever. As a matter of fact, I was sitting right here in this very spot when I received that gift . I can hear her saying as clear as if it happened a few minutes ago, “Mom we have a gift for you and Dad.”

She handed me a gift bag and as I took the tissue paper out I saw a plaque in the bag.
My husband was sitting right here beside me on that wonderful day. I reached in and pulled the plaque out and started to read the writing on it. Before my husband could finish reading it I was jumping up and down yelling, you could hear me all over the house.

Our Son came running into the living room to see what was going on. My poor husband still didn’t know what my excitement was all about. I tried to read the words on the plaque, out loud but my tears of joy prevented me from reading. Of course by now my husband had realized what was going on, but he controlled his excitement a little better then I had.

The plaque read “Grandma and Grandpa’s place where memories are made.”
All I had really had seen was grandma and grandpa and I knew one thing was about to be checked off my bucket list. I was going to be a grandma! I hear there is nothing better then being a grandparent, I had no doubt it will be a very special time in our lives.

I had always wanted twins and kept telling my daughter maybe since she waited so long to have children she would have twins.
A couple of months later I was staying with her for a few days and she ask if I wanted to go with her to the doctor, they were doing a 3D ultrasound. I was pretty excited I had never even seen an ultrasound much less a 3D one before. When I had Connie, they didn’t do ultrasounds, I didn’t even know until the moment she was born what I was having.

When the nurse came in to do the ultrasound I was so excited, I couldn’t wait to see a picture of my grandson. Oh yeah, I forgot to mention we already knew it was a boy.

The nurse got real quite and looked at my daughter. Connie I can’t believe I missed something so important, we both looked at her with concern. She said it looks like you are having twins. “Did I hear you right” I asked? I looked at Connie and said, “see I told you it could be twins.” Then to my surprise Connie and the nurse said “April fools.” They had played a joke on me, I couldn’t help but laugh, seems they had planned the whole thing weeks before.

Connie told me everyone that worked at the Doctors office, including the nurse had been concerned about playing such an extreme joke on me but Connie had assured them that I would be fine. She shared with them that her mother loved to play jokes on people and would be just fine with them playing one on me.

Now as I sit here holding our little bundle of joy, I can’t imagine being any happier. Who needs two when you have one that is this prefect.

Everyone had laughed as they listened to my journey on the way to becoming a grandma. It was wonderful introducing our grandson to family and friends. “I hear being a grandparent is the best thing ever” one of the guest said. I absolutely agreed, I couldn’t believe in just a few short days my grandson had already stolen my heart.
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This article has been read 378 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Bonnie Clarkson
02/03/23
I loved the personal tone of your story. You did a good job of using hear/here without just tacking it on. I liked "sitting right here" and "did I hear you right".
I question whether "bucket list" should have been used. Those items are done by the person making the list. Judge for yourself if you like it.
The rest of my complaints are grammatical, and that comes with experience.
"already" is considered to be an overworked word. Avoid it.
You had a lot of "had"s and "was sitting" versus sat. I recommend using your find function on the processor and see if you want each "had" and "was". ProWritingAid has a free online grammar checker.
Keep writing you have a good start.
Linda Lawrence 
02/03/23
I really enjoyed your story.
Barbara Culler 
02/07/23
Good story. But I think that was mean of them to tease you like that!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
02/09/23
This is really sweet. I thought maybe the "grandchild" was going to be an animal as a joke. I like your joke way better. Be careful of missing little things like starting a new paragraph when someone different speaks or acts, use apostrophes for possessive words, and don't put in random caps. You used the word gift three times in opening paragraph. By combining some of the sentences you can tighten it up. Overall, you did a nice job, add some body language before or after the dialog to make it pop more. I really enjoyed the characters and smiled at the subtle humor. Keep writing and I'd also encourage you to read and comment on other entries too. You'll be surprised how much that can help. And being a grandma is the coolest thing ever!