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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: PICNIC (07/14/22)
Why Can’t I Go

Summer camp, it can’t get any better. I have looked forward to this all summer. I have been to day camp every summer since turning six, but this year for me, Addy, was going to be different. I’m 13 now and will be going away to camp and for a whole week.

I have to admit I’m as nervous as I am excited, but all packed and ready to go. I have heard so many stories about camp from my older sisters. If it is half as fun as they tell me, then this will only be the first of many summers spent at camp “Picnic”

My sisters had not told me a lot of details of going to camp, just enough to get my curiosity going. They wanted me to experience it first hand. The unknown is scary but fun in a weird kind of way.

When we all got off the bus, we were directed to our cabins where I met my roommates and counselor. They all seemed very nice, which had me feeling a little less nervous.

“Girls, let’s gather around” our counselor Sharon said. When we were all in a circle, she begin to explain to us that she always started the week off with a picnic honoring the camps name. “We will go around the circle and each person will name one item they will bring on the picnic, and I will tell you if you can go or not, I will start.
I will bring Strawberries, so I can go” she said. Next Janie said she would bring Jelly Beans, Sharon said she could go. Then Linda said she would bring bread, Sharon said “I’m sorry you can’t go.” What! I was confused. Next Christy said she would bring chips, she was told she could go.

Now it was Barbie’s turn and she said she would bring bread, Sharon told her ok you can go. Boy that’s not fair, she just told Linda she could not go if she brought bread but it was ok for Barbie. Being very confused, when my turn came around, I said I would be cookies. I’ m sorry Addy you can’t go.

It was back to Sharon and she said she was going to bring a horse, Barbie and Christy said “you can go.” I guess they know something the rest of us didn’t . This was their second summer here so they know how this picnic works. Janie was up next and she said she would bring ants, “you can go “said Sharon. Linda said she would bring chicken but was told once again she could not go. Then it was Christy’s turn again she said she was bringing a hammock and Barbie said she would bring apples they both were told they could go. My turn again, so I said I would bring watermelon nope they said you can’t go.

Ok what is going on, there has to be some kind of secret to this game, that I am missing. So far only Linda and I have not been able to go on the picnic. I have to figure this out. Ok pay close attention I told myself. Sharon said she would bring acorns, and of course she gets to go. Linda said she would bring lettuce, and surprise— all of a sudden she finally gets to go.
Had she figured out the game? Janie said nuts, Christy said raisins, Barbie said rats. Surprise they can all go.
My turn, come on Addy say something that will let you go.
I am going to bring lemonade. Everyone including Linda said I couldn’t go. Linda had for sure figured it out, ok let me think..

Sharon is bringing strawberries, a horse and acorns. Janie is bring jellybeans, ants and nuts. Christy is bringing chips, hammock and raisins. Barbie is bringing bread, apples and rats. Linda could not go when she said bread and chicken but finally got to go when she said lemonade.
I decided to look at Linda’s last thing and everyone else’s first thing to she what they had in common,
Linda- lemonade,
Sharon- strawberries,
Janie- jellybeans,
Christy- chips,
Barbie- bread.

What! I see it now as plain as the nose on my face, I yell out I am bringing angel food cake. They all yelled at tge same time, YES you can go!!!!
What a great way to start a week!
P.S. Did you figure it out?
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This article has been read 398 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Claudia Barrington
07/21/22
Sounds like a super cute children's book. A few typos, but nothing that Grammarly or another free editing app can't handle. Loved it!
Wendi Harrington
07/22/22
I agree. This would make a great picture book. I would buy it for my grandbabies!
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
07/24/22
This was a fun story. I enjoyed it a lot. You did a nice job of developing the characters. I'd urge you to do more showing than telling by using dialog, body language, and put the thoughts in italics. Make sure you use the right punctuation for dialog and start a new paragraph with each person speaking. I think you nailed the topic in a fun and fresh way. I was entertained from beginning to end (even when I thought I figured it out, I had to keep reading to see if I was right!)