The Official Writing Challenge
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Many good points here.
Nice essay!
You have three good stories here. Each one could have stood on its own. When I first joined FW, I did the same thing. Instead, I'd urge you to focus on just one story and build on it using dialog, body language and thoughts. It makes it easier for the reader to relate and gives each story the individual attention it deserves. You really have some great talent and the more you write, the stronger you will become. I'd also urge you to read and comment on other entries as well. You will learn more about your writing as you critique others. Keep at it. You did a great job on the topic too.