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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: Willingness (02/21/05)
While listening to Pastor’s radio message today, I realized my fears are for not. My fears are my own creation to prevent mobility of any kind. Scared about finances, meeting to get a job, wanting to help my husband pay the bill, etc. After Pastor’s message I realized he was right. If I get a part-time job, it will bring in a little extra money but what will it cost me? Time that I am supposed to be using to do their jobs God has already given me. Mother, wife, housekeeper, book keeper, business partner, errand girl, etc. So many tasks to perform, where would I find the time for this part-time job. I still have things to do, assignments from God, that I am still not accomplishing. I believe with all my heart that I am supposed to write short stories, poems, articles, maybe even books. After Pastor’s message today about trusting in God and being willing to do what He tells me to do, I find myself challenged. My tasks earthly tasks must be completed to the best of my ability, not half way, not skipped over. There is plenty of time in my day to accomplish my cleaning and bookkeeping and errands, yet day after day I find myself procrastinating and worrying that I am not doing enough. Always putting off writing for lack of the instantaneous success. Discouraged by the fact I don’t know how to sell my articles or stories or poems. It seems the effort required to get my writing career off the ground is too much for me to accomplish. Even though I know in my heart it’s what I should do. This leads me to believe that I am bound and chained by the sin of laziness. Or could it be just the overwhelming fear of failure. More to the point, lack of trust is the one who gave me this dream. I am so sure that the world will see me as pompous, uneducated, a religious nut, and I will not be taken seriously. But the ideas keep coming, the stories and poems fill my head daily. I write little phrases which come to mind but never develop them. I have file folders full of notes, topics which pop into my head. But still I cannot or will not take the big step. This overwhelming fear of failure has me paralyzed. I do understand where these feelings are coming from but I won't overcome these feelings until I start doing what God has told me to do, these feelings of being overwhelmed will not go away until I am willing to step out in faith and believe that there is no task ahead of me greater than the power behind me.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Lynne Gaunt
03/01/05
Fear of failure, rejection, embarrassment - these can sure keep you from acting! I liked the honesty that you portrayed in this article. I especially liked how you reassured yourself of the way to fix your fears:

"there is no task ahead of me greater than the power behind me"

God will help you accomplish what He has planned for you - keep praying and studying His word and He'll show you the way. God bless!
donna robinson
03/04/05
I know just what you mean. While there was a time I wrote almost every day, that has since gone. Till I found this site and slowly I am getting inspired. But writing is indeed about discipline; that ability to just sit down and "start". I know that once I "start" the writing will take care of itself so why do we delay it? I think it's because getting published is literally a job! And it seems to take the fun out of just writing. So maybe it's more than just fear of failure, more of a not wanting our writing to be another "job". You expressed your thoughts very well here; it made me feel like I was sitting at the table listening to you.