The Official Writing Challenge
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Yes,in our weakest moments we find our strength in Him.
Great entry!!

Blessings, Rita
What a gripping story! I'd be very interested in a full-length version of this, but I particularly wanted to comment on the poem / prayer, which was absolutely outstanding, and could even stand alone. Wonderful.
I agree with Jan, I would love to see more. And I loved the poem/prayer as well! Thanks!
I'll agree with the others. The poem / prayer was excellent, and I also would like to see more of the story. Good job.
Absolutely wonderful! I found this piece very creative and the poetry outstanding. It blended well. Great job!
What a beautiful and powerful prayer! I was intrigued by Jason and his story. I agree - I would have liked to know more. Good job.
Great story. Both the story and the poem were so well done it was a joy to read.
First, the scene is riveting. The crisis is strong. The writing is good. BUT... and I mention this because you lament being STILL in intermediate (as you stated on the boards) ... there is a problem with alliteration. Repetative words and word sounds in successive sentences. I counted many, many of these in your story. The solution? There's a free site that can help find these sorts of things. Run your story through the free parts of You'll see all sorts of ways to polish you piece up. THEN, go to and download their free text reader. Listen to your story being read back to you. You'll pick up all sorts of other things. Try these two hints and really buff up your obvious skills. This piece could really shine with just a little bit of polishing!
For those who said they wanted more... (if it doesn't work as a link, copy and paste)
JP, you continue to surprise me. I absolutely love your natural style and way with words. I agree that you need to boost yourself up and over a notch and run with what you will learn, blessing others in return.

You know that you're on the right track when the we read what you've posted and think, "man, wish I thought of that..." (smile).

Good work!
I've just re-visited this piece, and I'm going to use it on the FrontPage Showcase for the week of June 18. Really, really good job!
Wow, congrats on getting showcased! I like this one, too. :-)
Soon to be edited and placed in full in the regular submissions for short stories. As it is too long for one piece, it will be set in two parts.. God bless and enjoy.
Congrats, Pup, on being showcased.
I read Maxx's comments and decided to take his advice for myself. His comments would be useful for all of us. This story is very suspenseful, hinting at the end times. There will be those who are charged with the responsibility of concealing a remnant during the tribulation, and their duty will be very dangerous. Congratulations at being in the FW Showcase this week!
A truly beautiful prayer and an intriguing story. Very well done. Congrats on being showcased.
Showcase is good. Showcase is really good... and you got it!

I want the first sentence of the poem for the ceiling in my bedroom above my bed. It is delightful!