The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: FIZZLE (06/09/16)
Sometimes I am afraid I am losing everyone close to me. I’m so scared. I hate who I am right now. I readily admit, I am not the easiest person to be around right now. I am consumed with an indescribable grief that envelopes me like the thick, foggy cloud that used to settle over the pond at my Maw-Maw’s on those hot summer mornings when I visited her farm as a young girl.
I thought my friends would always be here for me, that they’d be by my side, at least keeping in touch. Instead, they have all but disappeared and left me to sort out the details of how to move through this maze of misfortune on my own. They are not here with a hand to help me up. They aren’t here to help pull me out of the muck and mire of this horrific nightmare that is too real to be fabricated. It is as if they fear suicide is contagious.
I don’t want to lose everyone close to me. I’ve already had to tell my sister not to call me for a while. It was too hard, talking to her. She just didn’t seem to understand how her words were hurting me. It isn’t important what she said, it was just that our interactions were very painful. I know this relationship will be restored. I love and admire my sister very much. I just need to get stronger before that happens.
I have people who have hurt me with their words, I believe completely innocently; and I have others who have hurt me by remaining silent. The absolute worst, however, happened when I had dinner with a friend recently. She knows what I’ve been through. She’s like the second person I called after Dean took his life, right in front of me. She talked to me when I was still a bumbling mess, in complete and utter shock. She came to my home and helped get Dean’s affairs in order, so to speak, because I was in no way able to think or do anything on my own.
If anyone should have compassion on me, you would think it would be her. I think she is of the mindset, “Get over it already. Hasn’t it been, like, six months?” Actually, no, it hasn’t. This is just month four. Maybe when you’re not living this daily nightmare, time passes much more quickly. For me, it’s as if it is standing completely still.
She practically toyed with me that night. Intentionally provoked me, or so it seemed. Why? I know not. What I do know is that as I sat there at the table feeling betrayed, forsaken, belittled, misunderstood -- before we had even ordered our meal -- I should have gotten up and excused myself, just as I would have done had it been a terrible first date.
Another thing I have learned through this is that when you are a grieving widow, especially after loss to suicide, you have to take care of you. Sometimes that means letting relationships you once held dear fizzle out, even though the thought of that added loss scares you, and a broken relationship, especially now hurts you.
As I have matured as a Christian, looking back over my lifetime, I can see times where God has tried to remove me from a situation or relationship, and I went running after the very thing He was trying to protect me from. I don’t have to tell you how that worked out for me. I am sure you have done this in the past and can guess at the outcome. Let’s just say, I am blessed beyond measure that God also makes beautiful things out of the messes that we create in our lives.
If God intends for a relationship to sizzle, you won’t need to chase after anyone or anything. Let’s face it, sometimes He intends for a relationship to fizzle. We can do ourselves a favor and save ourselves a lot of sorrow by taking our cues from the Lord and allowing those relationships that have fizzled by His design to remain in their dormant state. Let's don’t chase after the desires of our hearts, when they don’t align with God’s will for our lives. God will reveal the relationships that need restoration and those we should just allow to fizzle out like a can of soda left sitting out too long.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 399 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Pat Small
06/17/16
This was a very sad piece. You conveyed a lot of emotion and some sad truths. I do urge you to keep some white space between paragraphs for easier reading. I also think you overused the topic word.
Catrina Bradley
06/18/16
Your article really touched me. This sounds like a true story. I grieve with your MC. This line especially resonated with me: Maybe when you’re not living this daily nightmare, time passes much more quickly. For me, it’s as if it is standing completely still.

I do agree with Pat's comment, but I also think you have a a great grasp of the writing craft. Great job on covering the topic.
C D Swanson 
06/22/16
This touched my heart.

Blessings~
Holly Westefeld
06/23/16
Maribeth, you have woven the topic smoothly with your palpable expression of the pain you are enduring. I am sorry that those whose support you really need are not being there for you. I am glad that you have found FaithWriters, and trust that God will work beyondanything you might imagine to touch others' lives through your candid writing.
We were just exploring Psalm 22 in our ladies' Bible study this evening. Know that Jesus, David, and countless others understand your feelings of loss and betrayal. The passage at the end of Romans 8 is also on my heart, where Paul reminds us that absolutely nothing can separate us from the love of God. I pray that He will bring those around you who have the compassion to traverse this path with you.