The Official Writing Challenge
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This is interesting. I liked the conflict and the characters. You don't need to use the topic word for it to be on topic. For me, it stood out in this story and didn't feel like it fit. Instead, show what an insouciant frame of mind looks like. Perhaps he whistles and saunters while swinging his arms. Make sure the words fit your character. You have a nice message here. The ending was a nice twist too. Good job.
06/13/16
Very descriptive and educative writing for readers who know little about mining, or about South African culture during the apartheid era.
Interesting twist to wrap it up.
06/16/16
Congratulations, Elaine, on your highly commended placing this week.

This story was quite interesting; however, I believe the dialect was overused in certain sections.