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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 2 – Intermediate)
Topic: ZENITH (04/21/16)
Thea strode across the car park portraying a confidence she didn’t feel. Her very red, very tall heels were threatening to disable her ankles but at least she'd succeeded in leaving without anyone noticing.

“Leaving early today Thea?”

Thea smiled at the familiar face even though she didn’t feel like talking. She was already dreaming of a long warm bubble bath where no one would hear her cry.

Doc held open the security gate for her.

“Thank you Doc. Have a lovely night.”

She began to run, as well as she could in those heels, her legs threatening to let her down, heading to the safety of her car. She exhaled a deep breath she didn’t realise that she had been holding when a knock on her window made her jump.

“What the? Oh it’s you.” She wound down the window. “What were you thinking? You scared me half to death!”

“I’m so sorry. I called out to you but you didn’t hear me”.

“It’s okay, I was just--“

“It’s been a rough day hasn’t it?”

“Hang on a minute, I’m getting out.” Thea stepped out of the car and stood tall determined to get this conversation over quickly.
“What do you want Jim? I’ve got to go.”

“It’s today isn’t it?” Thea looked out through her eyelashes. “How did you…?”

Thea followed Jim eyes to her shoes. “Arrrgh. The shoes. I didn’t think anyone would notice.” His gaze met hers on the way back up.

“Yes. I go to hospital this afternoon and surgery is tomorrow. Doesn’t seem right somehow but that’s what it is.”

Jim nodded. “It’s not right, but I want you to know that the whole team has their fingers crossed. I want you to come back.” Thea opened her mouth to speak but Jim was still talking. “I mean, we want you back as soon as you can.”

Thea felt her resolve slip as she kicked off her shoes and stood in bare feet. “It was silly really. I just thought that if I wore these shoes one last time, it would somehow make today bearable.”

She shook her head. “It didn’t do anything except hurt my feet! I figured that if the cancer was going to take my leg then I would celebrate this last day with both feet!”

Jim picked up one of the offending shoes. “Wouldn’t slippers have been a better option?”

Her lip curled upward.

Jim’s eye’s crinkled as Thea’s lip curl took over the rest of her face and soon they were both laughing.

Thea’s mind was running a million miles an hour. She didn’t really know Jim but she was feeling strangely comfortable. She looked at Jim and wondered why he was being so nice to her. Without notice she started to cry.

Jim reached for her and drew her to him. “I’m sorry Thea. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Jim patted her back. When he did speak, he said, “I want to walk this road with you. I know you’re strong but I want to help you.”

“No. You can’t.” Thea stepped back.

Jim let her go but softly touched her arm. “You haven’t noticed but I like you”

“You hardly know me!”

“I know more about you than you know. You just didn’t notice me watching. I know that you stir your coffee in-between the two teaspoons of sugar. I know that you twirl your hair when you’re nervous. I know that you had stopped wearing heels as your leg got sore. I know that you don’t have any family to care for you. Is that enough?” His eyes were asking for her yes.

“But I hardly know you.” It was too much. Thea thought she was going to start crying again

Jim spoke softly into the silence. “You can get to know me while you’re recuperating. I’d like to start by driving you to the hospital. What do you think?”

“I can’t keep you from work.”

“I’ve got annual leave booked ready, if you’ll let me?”

Could this mean? Thea swallowed hard. “Yes.”
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This article has been read 503 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Judy Sauer 
04/28/16
I could feel the pain of the red heels. They would bother me too. I wasn't sure where your story was going...I kept looking for something related to the topic. You missed punctuation in many places. In one paragraph, you had two people speaking. Each person gets their own line.

You tried very hard-it's evident in the detailed story you crafted. Keep writing.
C D Swanson 
04/28/16
This was such a touching and hauntingly beautiful story. I felt the MC's pain at the thought of losing her leg to cancer as she struggled in the red high shoes.

It made me think about her pain and feel it. Well done.

I liked that there is so much hope in the end with the "new boyfriend" taking the reins, knowing it was the beginning of a very strong and solid relationship.

Well done.

Blessings~
Bonnie Bowden 
05/05/16
Your title drew me in. I would like a pair of red shoes just not high heels.

I think your entry would have been much higher if it focused around the topic, zenith.

Congratulations on placing 3rd place in the Intermediate category.
Lea Austin
05/07/16
Congratulations on 3rd Place!