The Official Writing Challenge
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Very interesting depiction of the salvation experience. I liked it. This piece could have been a bit easier to read if there were line breaks throughout. Such a big block of text is tiring to the eyes. I really enjoyed this piece. Nicely done.
Wow! I think this is a brilliant allegory. I grew up playing cards and that drew me into the story. You did a fine job in the beginning of creating the conflict and then building the suspense. This entices the reader to want more, to keep reading while resisting the urge to peek at the ending to see how it plays out (I know peeking at the ending is a bad thing to do but it is also a sign of a well-written piece that makes the reader want to know more right away, which shows the pull of your words)

Many writers struggle all their lives with something called Show, don't tell. Instead of telling your reader the story--much like one talking on the phone--you want to paint a picture for them so it feels more like watching a TV show. You have some great examples of showing. This was one of my favorites: I rubbed my hands together
It shows a sense of cockiness in the MC and I could easily picture this playing out.
This line is more telling: This gave me more confidence that this would be the day I would beat him.
But you can easily turn it into showing by doing something like this: I puffed up my chest and threw my shoulders back. "Today I will beat you; when I do, you need to leave me alone."
Doing it this ways hopefully not only identifies who is speaking but paints a picture of what the MC's emotions and personality. I also added the dialog to help show. (Make sure with dialog, that you start a new paragraph each time someone speaks)

I was wondering how you were going to fit the topic into this piece and then when I got to the end, I realized you did a grand job of building up to the topic and you covered it in a different and unique way which is always a good thing to do. Your ending is spot-on and brings the reader full circle. I enjoyed the imagery of Jesus being the Trump Card--the one that can beat all of the other cards on the table. I'm in awe of this astounding idea and it reached my heart in such a subtle and delightful way. This is an outstanding bit of writing and I look forward to reading more of your work. Again I want to say WOW! as that is the one word that best describes this piece to me.
Ingenious! I loved it.
Sensational story with a prolific message and clever way of presenting the topic.
This was phenomenal. THank you. God bless~
So compelling and interesting. Great take on the topic. Thanks for sharing.
Congrats! God bless~