The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 419 times
Member Comments
This is just beautiful. It gave me goose bumps as I read it. There was a poetic touch to it. I liked how you left the ending open not fully describing who little Sarah is. At first I thought maybe the MC was dying and her little girl needed to be cared for after she was gone. It can be a terrifying feeling not knowing if your child will be okay. But the more I thought about it, I wondered if the little girl was perhaps an inner child, the little girl who was once the MC many years ago. Growing up and facing an adult world can be quite scary. I know a little girl lives inside of me and I often fret and worry about her and the things she has seen. But God loves the little girl in me as much as he loves the mother, the sister and the friend. It can be scary to let go off the past and step out into the world but with God ever at our side, how can we go wrong? Beautiful bit of writing.
I really enjoyed this piece. Nicely done.
This was delicious to my artistic taste buds...really moving and touching. My son is grown and I always worry about how he will do after Im gone, due to the fact he already lost his Dad.

Anyway, this is of those stories you read and don't forget.

God Bless, Lynn
You've painted a gorgeous picture with your words. Very poignant story, with a profoundly true message for mothers everywhere. Thanks!
With my deep male sensitivity, it took me a while to work out what was happening here, but you drew me in to the reassurance that emerges at the close. Well done.
Lovely poignant and heartwrenching-all the elements of a great story!
Oh, this is beautiful. I love how you gave God such a physical presence here.
I love your writing. I could feel the emotions in both the child and mother. Great job!
I loved this. It is moving and powerful. I loved the intimate relationship between the MC and God.
Wow! This was so overwhelmingly touching and beautiful. It filled my senses and made me tear up. Lovely job. Well done.
Thank you. GOd bless~
This is beautiful in so many ways. I love the interplay between God and the MC. How they share the joy of creation and togetherness. I've had many of those moments, but they are hard to express in writing. You did well.

I also love the way you intermingle joy and sorrow, fear and assurance. Good job bringing in the conflict it needs to be a story arch, but resolving it well, too.

My only red ink is that you had a couple of sentence splices, and the "Is it getting worse?" seemed out of character since He would know if it were or not. But those are very minor and easy fixes. I think you should submit this for publication in a magazine.