The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/09/07
There is a lot of sweetness in this poignant story.

Think about working on dialogue that sounds a bit more natural--some snippets struck me as being not quite the way that real teens speak.

I like the grace that is evident here.
08/10/07
What a powerful truth is told here. We do have choice. It's the making of champions!
08/10/07
Good story — a reminder that a burden shared is a burden cut in half. You have dialogue at the end — some throughout would make good even better.
What a great lesson learned here. A real awakening for a teen. Great job on this.
Keep writing.
08/12/07
Nice story, but need a little spelling check to make it Top Banana. "robbed" for instance; however, you have a fine point here, and practice makes perfect. Keep at it...Nice Job!
Wonderful account of forgiveness and healing. I liked the fact that the teens got enjoyment out of their act of kindness.
08/22/07
You crafted a good story and an unusual story for the topic. With a bit more polish, this story will shine! Interesting story idea.