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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: TRIAL (05/10/18)
One day I was walking along the river and there was a fierce wind blowing and my it was cold, so cold. As I was walking along, my mind was thinking back to a few days back whereby I had some difficulties that needed facing which were so hard. One of the things was that I had to take my dog to the vets to be put down as he had a chronic illness and I could no longer let him go on the way he was especially being in so much pain – it just was not fair on him. I felt so sad and even now I have tears come into my eyes, so I reach for a tissue in my purse to wipe these tears away. I miss this dear little dog so much and he was my companion and my friend who was there with me through everything.

The second difficulty was that I had to let go of my marriage as this really has not been working out for a very long time. You see my husband had had an affair which rocked my world. How could he do this to me, to us – life seemed so unfair. So many questions and so many answers needed, and the biggest question was why as I thought we were happy together but obviously not. Over the last few weeks there had been tell tale signs which I didn’t heed until I saw the text message on his phone from this other woman. When I asked him outright if he had been having an affair, he kind of looked sheepish and then finally nodded. I did not know whether to lash out at him or just simply scream. In the end I just walked up stairs and laid down on the bed with tears flowing from my eyes and I just could not stop as they carried on and on and I just laid there not knowing what to do. In the meantime, my husband had packed his things and told me he was leaving. Just like that with no other words or a goodbye even. I just nodded and sat up and prayed for a miracle.

Continuing my walk along the river I pulled my scarf even tighter around me and I just walked and out loud I cried to God why am I going through these trials? Why me? Why now? No answer came forth. I kicked the leaves along the path and finally found a seat whereby I could sit down of which I was thankful. Whilst I was sitting there, a couple came and sat down beside me, quietly not saying anything but they just sat in the stillness of this particular cold wintry day. Suddenly the man sitting on my right asked if he and his wife could pray for me at which I burst into tears and whispered yes. They both took hold of my hands and the guy prayed and spoke these words from Philippians 4:6-7 “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God and the and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” . After he prayed his wife who was with Him said that God brings trials into our lives to make us stronger in Him. I am to trust Him and put my faith in Him alone.



After they had finished praying, I felt a peace about me that I had not felt for the last few days. I felt stronger and decided no matter what life hits out at me that I will fight back. I made my way back home and after I arrived and had walked through the door, there on the table was a vase of flowers and a card which I opened, and the wording said simply “I am really sorry, I did not mean to hurt you and I was in the wrong, please will you forgive me” and then my husbands signature. I felt tears well up again and was thinking could this mean what I think it does. As I turned around I saw my husband and he simply said I am home and I fell into his arms and we both started crying and then we talked. You see God does answer prayers sometimes and he certainly answered mine that day.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
05/17/18
Beautiful message, well done!

Blessings~
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
05/17/18
This is a heart-wrenching story for sure, yet I believe many can relate to it. I know I certainly can relate. It proves the cliché "when it rains it pours" is so true.

I have just a smidgen of red ink. I noticed in the beginning, you started out with telling. I'd urge you to paint more of a picture. For example, I might edit it like this: I stumbled along the river bank as the wind whipped at my body, blowing my hair in all directions. Pulling my sweater tight against me, I could hear my teeth chattering against the bitter cold.
I took some liberties to show you what I mean. Adding thoughts, dialog, and body language can help paint a picture for your reader. Also consider using contractions as they sound more natural in this type of writing. Back in the day, teachers discouraged me to use them, but instead wanted me to write formally. That's fine for formal papers, but in stories like this and adding slang, these little nuances will bring depth to your character and sound more natural too.

I really liked how the couple prayed. It can be such a powerful tool, and not everyone understands how to talk to God. Often, we may be hesitant to step up to a stranger and offer to pray. But God does prompt us to do so and it can make such a huge difference as you showed in your delightful message. You did a great job of writing on topic. And you touched my heart.
Christian Belyea
05/18/18
Hi...Your piece was very moving. I can totally relate to all your tears. You are a trooper, indeed. And those strangers offering to pray for you was not a coincidence--it was a God-incident, for He sent them to you. Your message is one of hope in the midst of what seems hopeless. Truly inspiring. I can relate about losing your beloved pet, as I, too, have a precious kitty who is 13 already! Keep up the good work. You are a fine writer, indeed. Just work a little more on punctuation in certain places. Hard, I know. It took me a while to figure it out, and I still have difficulties at times. Anyway, keep on motoring. Glad your marriage is back in order! Regards...
Judy Ewald
05/18/18
Thanks for sharing the trials you have been through, many can relate to losing a pet, I have a dog and a cat. Also a broken marriage, although not because of infidelity. Good suggestions by others.
Breaking up in more paragraphs will make it easier to read. Keep writing.
Bonnie Kronberger 
05/20/18
Your story was very interesting. You kept my attention throughout.

The writing could be improved upon by not using ‘just’ and ‘that’ too frequently. I suggest you read your piece over again and again throughout the week. Look for ways to restructure sentences to make the reading flow more smoothly.

A very well developed story, in that the reader could identify with your pain and hope.

Looking forward to reading more of your work.