The Official Writing Challenge
BACK TO
CHALLENGE
MAIN
INSTRUCTIONS
how it works
submission rules
guidelines for
choosing a level
ENTRIES
submit your entry
read current entries
read past entries
challenge winners
Our Daily Devotional HERE
Place it on your site or
receive it daily by email.


TRUST JESUS TODAY

  • Share
  • how it works
  • Submit
Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: SEA CHANGE or TREE CHANGE (07/13/17)
That pine sapling barely stretched past grandma’s Livvie’s five feet



The day grandpa planted it in their front yard.



She wasn’t grandma then, just Mama to my mama and grandpa’s better half.



That was the same year, same day, and grandma says, the same moment,



That she gave her heart to Jesus. Like a light switch, one minute faith was found only a



Memory of her childhood and the next, the radiance came through. gotta say



Jesus had to be the One Who flipped the switch.



My grandma walked planted in the light from that very moment.







Grandma and the pine grew through every season and stood.



Firm and tall they both pointed passionately



To Jesus. Our valley is prone to drought and they saw their fair share of the dry.



Deep, desert, dry that formed tight circles in the trunk of that tree



And tight lines on grandma’s face. The dryness drew designs on her, but joy did too, and



Her smile lines went deeper. Much deeper. Cuz her roots ran deep and wide, deep and so wide.



Jesus taught her to descend past the shallows.



And grandma drew from the sweet water of the sacred streams.







One day after three of rain and rain and then some more rain,



A strong storm sent that tree soaring past the house



And across the clothesline. The roots tried to hold onto soil as soft as grandma’s



Grits bubbling on the stove, but that soft soil couldn’t stabilize



Fifty feet worth of tree. It left a big hole in the yard, but not as big as the one



Grandma left when we put her in a pine box three years later. No not near as big.



But that woman left seeds of faith that have reached,



grown, stood pine tall, and left seeds for five generations now.
The opinions expressed by authors may not necessarily reflect the opinion of FaithWriters.com.
If you died today, are you absolutely certain that you would go to heaven? You can be right now. CLICK HERE

JOIN US at FaithWriters for Free. Grow as a Writer and Spread the Gospel.
This article has been read 389 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
C D Swanson 
07/20/17
Beautifully written!
Great message too!
Blessings~
JANET JONES
07/20/17
it so bugs me that I can clearly see mistakes on the submitted copy, that I didn't notice at all before I submitted. Obvious one like making grandma AND Livvie possesive. And forgetting to capitalize.
Noel Mitaxa 
07/20/17
I doubt if there is one member who has not seen irretrievable glitches until they're submitted for all the world to see. I've just noticed the absence of some vital quotation marks in my entry this week, so don't be too hard on yourself.
You have used some strong word pictures in a short entry, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of your punchy style.
Jenny Fulton 
07/21/17
I love the parallels of the grandma and the tree growing together. I also enjoyed the combination of poetry and narrative.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
07/21/17
This is quite lovely. Some of the punctuation (at the end of the lines) and capitalization (like not capping proper noun like Grandma and Grandpa) distracted me slightly, but it seems like you've seen those yourself. The biggest advice I can give you is to hit preview before submit. It should take you to a different window so you can see it just like the reader will. Next, try to let it rest at least overnight and then read it aloud (or better yet ask someone else to). Last, and most importantly, don't beat yourself up over those things. They don't matter nearly as much as the message, and your message is beautiful. I really could relate to the seeds that Grandma planted, and the comparison to the tree brought tears to my eyes. You have a powerful piece here. I am certain God is using your words to reach people in ways you might never expect. Keep writing, and read and comment on as many other pieces as possible. By leaving constructive feedback, you will learn quite a bit about what works and doesn't work and be able to apply it to your own writing. I truly enjoyed this (and poetry isn't my favorite genre). You drew me in right away and held me to the very end.
Phillip Cimei
07/21/17
I was so touched by this. don't fret about putting it in without rechecking it. I sent one in last week and messed up on the italics. Most of it was in italics. I will be more careful next time.

If you really want to know why we do that is because we are so involved with the writing.

Our heart and soul is in it so much that we want to hurry up and let others get a taste of our passion. I am the worst at that.


The comments given were great and the only thing I want to say is read a lot of other challenge entries, listen to the red ink comments, get all the instruction you can from the great partners at FaithWriters.

God bless and you will go far with your writing. Be patient.
Larry Whittington
07/22/17
I liked how you wrote this. Each line its separate thought but all the lines together told the whole story.

It was nice. Keep using a for that seems to fit what you are writing.