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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: DAYDREAM (12/08/16)
A golden chariot of angels rode into my view. It was a glorious sight.
"My friends had come; I knew without a doubt." Chief angel stepped out and took my hand. I flew into the air and landed right in place.

Airborne at last, over valleys of blooms with the sweet fragrance of peace. I saw birds above tree tops that sang arias in tune. We flew past streams of clear water whose sounds gave me great joy.

Flying without wings. Our feet on a hoverboard yet I was secure in his arms. No fear of heights or falling remained. Such joy filled my soul. I felt completely safe up here and I wished that this would never end.

Laughter bubbled up in me and rang out near and far. This had to be from God, my Great and Loving Father. "Who else loved me so?" For He loved best and from the beginning of time. My heart was not troubled, for His peace filled my soul.

A loud noise shook the room. It was time to awaken from my lovely respite. I prayed, "Let me keep this memory" as I returned to real time. My eyes were now open. The guard had returned. I promised myself that I won't forget my ride with an angel on a flying board.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Bonnie Bowden 
12/15/16
Very creative approach to this week's topic. I wasn't sure if it was a poem or a short story. I liked the use of the hover board for flying.
Shann Hall-LochmannVanBennekom 
12/17/16
This is interesting and has huge potential. I liked what you created, although I wish you'd gone farther and given me more clues about the MC. The guard made me wonder if he had been in prison, maybe even someone like Paul or a disciple.

Another thing you might want to consider is add more details. For example: The room shook as I jumped to my feet with my mouth hanging open while drool plopped down my chin. I squeezed my eyes closed and shook my head. After the shaking stopped, I squinted, and I couldn't fathom the significance of what stood in front of me.
That's just a quick example of taking your words and expanding on them.

You have a lot of solid things here. You pull the reader in right away. You did a good job of writing on topic. I enjoyed the subtle conflicts. Your message is a great one--one that so many of us need to cling to these days. Keep writing, and better still keep reading. I'd love to challenge you to read and comment on each entry in your level and five more from levels three and four. The more you read and give cinstruct feedback, the faster and bigger you will grow as a writer.
Bonnie Bowden 
12/22/16
Congratulations, Gloria, on placing 3rd place in the Beginners category.

I enjoyed your piece very much and look forward to reading more in the new year.
Loni Bowden-Horn 
12/29/16
Gloria, I liked your imaginative story. I thought the story could have been expanded to answer some missing pieces.

I wanted to know why the guard came to the gate.

Keep working on your craft.