The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 695 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
This is a powerful piece. I could definitely relate to the lament. I've been doing a bit of that myself today, and you reminded me God is there right beside me, hearing every cry, feeling the splash of my tears. The only red ink is I wanted to say nor when you wrote neither. It disrupted the flow a tiny bit for me, but the fault is mine. (Experts can't even agree if nor can be used without neither). I might do it this way: I hid neither my weaknesses nor my faults. Of course that might mess up the rhythm, and I understand UK and US rules can vary. I think using the repetition was perfect. It brought the message home and also allowed the reader to sense what is coming next (which I like in poems, but am not a poem expert). I think this has hope, faith, and strength in it and it spoke clearly to me tonight.
Poetry is a very good and effective way of releasing feelings, whether of anguish or joy. The release brings peace.

Well express anguish. Well express peace through the hope given in God's word.

Keep your heart in heaven and your eyes in his word.
10/21/16
Jackie, Congratulations on your 2nd place win in the beginners level.

This piece was so expressive at the wide range of emotions we go through when we lament.

Nicely written
10/21/16
Sorry--Jacky instead of Jackie