Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Trust and Obey (don't write about the song) (05/21/15)
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TITLE: Two Words | Previous Challenge Entry
By D. Michael Newell
05/28/15 -
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“Papa, would you tell me a story about ‘the Big Fisherman?’”
“Okay. Thomas, sit here on this rock while I tell you a story that happened right here in Caesarea, and the two most important words I ever learned from Peter.
“I slipped quietly into the dark cave, slowly making my way down the tunnel until I could hear voices. Turning the corner, there they were. This small group was in danger. I’m glad I wasn’t followed.
“Slowly the crowd grew to about fifty. People arrived one or two at a time, all careful to be sure they weren’t followed. If anyone was caught it would mean certain death. They huddled together to fight off the cold, dark atmosphere. They kept their voices down as well.
“John motioned them to be quiet and said, ‘Friends I have just received word that Peter will be here tomorrow. We will meet at the other cave by the far side of town. No one is to know that Peter is coming, or where we will meet. He has also asked that we do not have any visitors when he comes.’
“’Will we meet at the same time?’ someone asked.
“’No, we will meet an hour later.’ replied John. ‘Come like we always do. Remember, don’t use the same route as last time. We cannot afford to get caught. Brother Titus will you lead us in prayer?’
“’I’ll be glad to. Heavenly Father we ask for your protection for our Brother Peter as he comes. We ask for your protection for us as we seek to follow you. Father, give us boldness with sensibility. Let our lives speak for you. Remind us that fear is lack of faith. Help us to be full of faith. Help us to encourage each other and to be faithful to You. Help us to speak up when we should and to shut up when we should. Guide us now tonight we pray. Amen.’
“Lifting his hand to quiet the gathering John spoke ‘We have kept this meeting short to throw off our enemies. You know how to leave. Be careful.’”
“I waited until everyone else had left, then I asked John, ‘Do you need me to get Peter to the meeting tomorrow?’
“’No, other arraignments have been made as he will arrive just in time for the meeting. But thank you for asking.’
“’No problem. I’ll see you tomorrow night.’
“Leaving the cave I made my way home by a route that would let me know if I was being followed. Tonight, no one was there.
“The next evening I made my way to the meeting making sure I wasn’t followed. I was one of the first to arrive. We lit a couple of torches while we waited. Joshua was standing guard and watching for Peter and any unwanted guest.
“Before long everyone was there and Joshua told us that Eli and Peter had arrived. John led us in prayer and turned the meeting over to Peter.
“Peter spent the next two and a half hours reminding us of all the suffering Christians were facing. Everything from beatings; to having their homes burned; to prison; to facing lions; to crucifixion. No place was safe from the hands of the Romans. In spite of all this many people were becoming Christians, and Rome was determined to wipe Christianity off the face of the earth once and for all.
“He pleaded with us to stand firm on the Word of God; watch to make sure we were following God without compromise. ‘Love should mark everything we do’ he said.
“That was the last time we saw Peter. Two days later he was arrested and sent to Rome where he was tried and convicted of being a ‘Christian.’ He was crucified just a few days later.
“I’ll never forget those two words he gave us that night.”
“What were they, Papa?”
“Trust and obey.”
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The only thing I might suggest would be to sprinkle some actions in between the dialog. For example: Yanking Papa's hand, sweat beaded up on Thomas's face. "Tell me the fisherman story Papa." Thomas pushed his lower lip out and linked his fingers together. "Please,Papa." and
"...They kept their voices down as well." Papa paused and glanced over his shoulder. Smiling, he pulled Thomas closer, waved his arms and continued in a soft tone. "John motioned them to be quiet."
I know part of it is the word limit, but I think just a tiny bit more showing will make this fantastic story into an outstanding one.
You did a great job of writing on topic. I could feel the suspense build as I read, I truly enjoyed this. The message is just as pertinent in today's world. You did a great job of including the topic throughout all of the story. I think you did a great job.