Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Example (07/25/13)
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TITLE: An Ultimate Demonstration | Previous Challenge Entry
By Melinda Bozak
07/27/13 -
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“Absolutely not! That man is not coming setting foot in my house. After what he did to Elizabeth, he is no longer welcome here. I have no desire to be in the same room as him.” Marsha declared. She began chopping the vegetables for the salad a bit faster and with a lot more force.
“Honey, he's my oldest and closest friend. I can't simply write him off.” David pleads with his wife. Confused by her out-of-character stubbornness, he wonders why she is so unrelenting toward Jude. “They need to work out their own issues. It shouldn't affect our friendship with him.”
Marsha stops, slamming the knife on the cutting board. Staring at her husband she asks, “Are you serious? How can you believe it wouldn't affect our friendship? She is my friend – WE introduced them. She was so happy when he asked her to marry him. Then he just backed out! Do you have any idea of the pain he caused?”
“Jude is not some love-em and leave-em kind of guy. He must have had a good reason.”
“What 'good reason' can there be to lead someone to believe you want to spend the rest of your life with them, only to walk away? Please enlighten me.” Marsha stormed out, not wanting David to see the tears streaming down her cheeks.
Stunned, David stands alone, staring at the unfinished meal prep on the counter.
Needing divine guidance he prays, “Lord, you know what is truly going on here. Give me Your wisdom and understanding. Help Marsha to open her heart and share what is beneath the surface. And help us to resolve this issue.”
After giving Marsha some time alone, David slowly enters her 'sanctuary' – their reading room. It is there that they pray and have daily devotions.
Looking up with her red-swollen eyes, she immediately apologizes. “I'm sorry for the way I behaved. I guess this situation with Jude and Elizabeth has stirred up some emotions that I thought were long gone... It appears they have lingered around, waiting for the opportunity to pop up like a jack-in-the-box.” Trying to smile she goes on... “It was just the right time I guess.” Marsha folds her embroidered handkerchief and blots the tears welling up in her eyes.
“You think?” David responds, laughing as he goes to her. Leaning over the back of her 'cozy chair', David wraps his arms around her.
Both laughing and crying, his wife leans her head into his. “Yeah, I think.”
With a bit of hesitancy David asks, “So can you tell me what happened?”
Marsha begins to share the experience that she thought she had put out of her mind long ago. “I had a roommate my freshman year in college, Jenna. We were like sisters. She was sweet, generous and trusting, and she only chose to see the good in people. She genuinely lived out her faith, and I admired her for that.”
“Okaaaay....?” David responds, not sure how to make the connection.
Marsha continues, “There was a nice boy I met in one of my classes who shared the same faith, similar background, and common interests as my roommate. I introduced them. They fell in love and got engaged within six months.”
Beginning to understand where the story is headed David asks, “And?”
Beginning to cry Marsha continues the story, “And his parents didn't approve. He called off the wedding even though he didn't want to. Jenna was devastated. She blamed me and has never forgiven me. We haven't spoken since.”
“I see... you've been poisoned.”
It's Marsha's turn to be confused. “Poisoned?”
“Unforgiveness is poison. – Elizabeth wouldn't forgive you. – You haven't forgiven Jude. You buried the pain, but the poison is still there. You have to forgive.”
Defiantly Marsha responds, “No, I can't. I lost my friend.”
"Well, it's not really an option... Jesus gave His life for our forgiveness. Let Him show You how."
Matthew 6:14-15 (NLT)
14“If you forgive others their sins, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you don’t forgive others, neither will your Father forgive your sins.
“Marsha, God doesn't request it. He commands it. He demonstrated it. He helps us... and gives us time. – But He still requires it.”
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The only flaw I noticed is that most of it is present tense, except for the one line where Marsha "stormed" (past tense) from the room.
Other than that, you did a terrific job. I enjoyed this very much.
You had a tiny POV shift when Marsha storms out not wanting David to see her tears. That technically calls for David to know her thoughts. Instead, you could just show what David saw. For example: Marsha covered her face with her hands as she ran out of the room.
I think you did a wonderful job of matching your message with Scripture. It is so true that resentment and refusing to forgive can really act as a poison. Your ending made me realize that part of the reason why Jesus demands that we forgive is because he loves us so a does not want us to have that poison in our hearts. Nice job.
Nicely done.
God Bless~
Forgiveness may have been the main theme but the story illustrated how a husband carried out his part and showed how he loved her correctly.