The Official Writing Challenge
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I like your story telling ability but got lost on the ending and needed more clarification about D.J. leaving town for awhile due to an angry boss and then looking for work. Hope this feedback helps.
The article was suspenseful and kept me on the edge of the seat.I was slightly confused at the ending, though. Were you trying to make it a modern day Bible story? I'd like to hear more, your words excited me and kept me looking over my own shoulder.
03/02/10
Definitely an udated re-telling of the Biblical story--so creative, and with a unique voice!