Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Light and Dark (05/21/09)
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TITLE: Dancing In the Sun | Previous Challenge Entry
By Piper Harding
05/22/09 -
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Collapsing onto the grass, she felt every blade against her flesh. It seemed all of her senses were on overdrive. Everything smelled, sounded, tasted, and felt differently and she wanted this feeling to last for the rest of her life. And to think it was only a couple of months ago she wanted to end it all. Right there in her windowless cell. She would have too. She had thought day and night about how and when to do it. It was the day she had marked on her calendar, the day she was to take her life that he showed up. Pastor Evan. His friendship and the life giving words he offered changed her from the inside out. Jesus. His story. His Salvation. His Purpose for her. Though it took a few weeks before she asked Jesus into her heart and life, the timing was perfect. On the day she was released from her prison of despair, grief and hopelessness she was also released from the prison that held her physically captive. Held for an act she always insisted was self-defense. As hard as it would be to face her uncle again, she was ready to talk to him. After all, God had given her a second chance; she would give her uncle a second chance as well. Only by the Grace of God could she even consider such a thing. And then, in God’s perfect timing, she would share Jesus with him like Pastor Evan shared with her. She was confident the day would come when Jesus would take her uncle from his black world, confident she and her uncle would one day dance in the sun together.
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It would be easier to read with paragraphing, and I really felt like I wanted more background into what had happened...maybe a little flashback?
Nice imagery throughout this little story.
I agree, paragraphs are a great thing.( : I did indeed have a paragraph in there, but every time I went to view it...no paragraph. I tried three times. The paragraph should be at "Collapsing onto the grass..."