Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Illustrate the meaning of "Don't Cut off Your Nose to Spite Your Face" (without using the actual phrase or litera (02/14/08)
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TITLE: Lego Brat | Previous Challenge Entry
By Amy Kuncaitis
02/19/08 -
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Thomas was already ripping the paper hoping it was what he suspected. “The final set! Now I can finish my castle! Thank you!” Thomas took the box across the living room, over to his custom made Lego table. He knelt down by his castle that was just waiting for the final pieces to be complete. He tore open the box and began to sift through his new additions that would enable him to finally finish his castle.
“Can I help?” Thomas’s little brother knelt down next to the Lego table, admiring the castle.
“No! Don’t touch anything Joey!” Thomas shoved his little brother back from the table. “You have to be at least eight years old, like me to even touch anything on this table; you have two years before you can play with any of it!” Thomas continued to work intensely.
“You just turned eight today Thomas,” Joey sneered
“So? My table, my rules, got it?” Thomas turned briefly to his brother then, quickly back to his table to complete his project.
“Look mom, just this one last piece and it is done!” Thomas steadied his forearm with his free hand to carefully place the final Lego in the center of the drawbridge that completed his elaborate castle. He had successfully used every last Lego in his thousand piece collection to construct, what he considered, the perfect castle.
“Wow, Thomas that is really something.” Thomas’s mother bent over the wooded Lego table, and peered into the tiny windows of the detailed castle.
“Let me see,” Joey ran over to see the finished project.
“No!” Thomas hovered over the table. “You are too little. Stay back; I don’t want anything to break.”
Joey rolled his eyes and retreated back to the sofa.
The next day, after school, Thomas ran in the house. He kicked his shoes off, dropped his backpack in the entryway and headed directly to his Lego castle. When he turned the corner to the living room, he saw Joey kneeling by his castle, Thomas was instantly irate.
“What are you doing? Who told you it was ok to touch my table, my Legos, my castle? Get away from there right now!”
“I am not hurting anything; I’m just looking, stop being such a ‘Lego brat’.”
Anger brewed inside of Thomas until he could not contain it anymore. “I SAID GET AWAY FROM MY CASTLE!” Raising his arm in the air, Thomas impulsively ran straight for his brother and took a good, hard swing. Joey ducked just under Thomas’s swing, and in an instant, his hand swung right past Joey and right into his precious Lego castle, destroying the entire thing.
Thomas sat on the floor, holding his sore hand, surveying the damage he had inflicted on his castle. As he looked over at his little brother, Thomas was convicted of his actions.
“Wow, I guess I was a real ‘Lego brat’, how’d that work out for me?” Thomas and Joey both grinned as they began to rebuild the castle together.
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The semicolons in the dialogue seemed out of place to me. Do people really talk that way? I dunno...I'll have to think about that one.
This is creative, and perfect for the topic. Enjoyed it a great deal.
Good writing.
I imagine that the only reason this seemed a little predictable to me, is that I have 19 and 17-year-old sons. :-)
I liked the story. It was definitely on topic. Thank you for sharing. :)
Laury