The Official Writing Challenge
This article has been read 1035 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
02/21/08
Very authentic feeling--I'll bet you've got experience with young boys!

The semicolons in the dialogue seemed out of place to me. Do people really talk that way? I dunno...I'll have to think about that one.

This is creative, and perfect for the topic. Enjoyed it a great deal.
02/21/08
I love your title! With boys of my own, I could see everything. Good use of dialogue. It's not easy to write as a child would talk.
Good writing.
This is a great take on the topic, and it's nice to read one that does not involve danger to life and limb.
I imagine that the only reason this seemed a little predictable to me, is that I have 19 and 17-year-old sons. :-)
Good job. :)
02/23/08
A good story for children. Keep writing.
I think that the author has had some experience with children, because it stood out in the story. I was reminded of the times that I used to fight with my younger sister over silly stuff like that.

I liked the story. It was definitely on topic. Thank you for sharing. :)
This is a good example. The ending seemed a little rushed, however. Maybe a little more pout before the reconciliation. But this is very good writing.
02/26/08
Good job writing this. YOu obviously spent a lot of time making sure it read and flowed smoothly and that all of your spelling and grammar was in check. You also managed to find something for the topic that many people can relate to. Way to go!
02/26/08
Love this story! It was me that couldn't even walk by the lego creations when me kids were little. All I had to do was look at them and they would disinegrate! Great job!
Laury
02/26/08
Oh, I fear this'll be my boys in a few years. I could relate to the little brother just wanting a look, while big brother wanted to protect his castle. Good story for the topic. I enjoyed this.
Perfect picture of kids, especially brothers. Right on topic, keep on writing.