The Official Writing Challenge
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Wow, there's a lot going on here--I had to think quite a bit about what happened. I almost think you need more than 750 words to establish a sci-fi or fantasy world. But you certainly nailed the proverb, and created an intriguing setting.
Wow!Great imagery! I'm not usually a fan of fantasy-fiction, but you wrote this well. Good descriptions and use of dialogue.
Great writing.
This is definitely your genre. Could easily be expanded into novels depicting the exploits of these characters up to this scene. Nice approach to the topic. :)
Ah, yes, the time travel paradox exemplifies the topic very well. You did a good job with the action and suspense.
Super! Applause applause! Great writing, fabulous story. Love everything about it.
This is the sci-fi/fantasy genre done right. I agree that you need more than 750 words to really be able to establish the world and it's characters. However, you did a masterful job considering the limitations you had to work under.

I'd like to see more of these characters in an extended story. :)
This definitely needed to be longer. I was just getting the characters figured out when it ended. You've woven quite a story with this and wish I could read more. Very good writing.
I love sci-fi and really enjoyed this story. Great writing.
Right on topic! A little confusing as to what was happening at times, but I suspect that the word count was partly to blame. Go over this and expand it. It will be easy to fix. It's a very good story.
Wow, how creative is this!
A lot going on, her, but tied together well. Not sure about the title, though. Keep up the good words, this was very enjoyable, would like more stories about Jess.
I was intrigued with the story and the dialogue is great. Very good job with topic.
Oooo...oooh! This is my FAVORITE! I just love this! The sci-fi/fantasy theme with time travel...double characters, it's just too good! Please tell me there's more! I really enjoyed the characters here and especially how you were able to say so much in just 750 words. I wanted to know so much more, but it was really, really good. I got the tie in to the topic too, very creative! Awesome writing! ^_^
What a story!! Even though it seems this is a Much larger story, you managed to encapsulate enough of it to make us understand what was going on and nail the topic on the head. Great job. And I Loooove how the title fits in so beautifully!!
Excellent take on the topic! You had some great illustrations in this piece. A little work on your commas would help, but otherwise, this was really good!
Congratulations, Lynne.