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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Hope (05/04/06)
Hope Against Hope

As a soldier this wasn’t the first crucifixion he had attended. So if he had seen it all before, what was different about this one? What was different about this man? He couldn’t quite place his finger on it. This time he wasn’t here in an official capacity. Could that be what made the experience so different? No. It definitely had something to do with this man.

He came out of curiosity. His assignment to guard the tomb of this Jesus who had the whole area in an uproar had provoked a need to know more about this case. It seemed that everywhere he went, whether on duty or off, he could eavesdrop on conversations where the name Jesus was mentioned. So he had come to see what all the talk was about.

Every time he looked at Jesus his thoughts roared to life inside his head. It played a history of his life in pictures, starting with his earliest memories. It continued forward through his life, ever increasing in volume and speed till he could stand it no longer and had to tear his gaze from the battered face. If he focused on the crowd he could bring his mind under control again and slow his racing heart. He had always prided himself in the self control he had developed over the years, but it seemed that now it was being tested. Watching the crowd while tuning out the noise, he carefully reviewed the memories that had raced through his head. They weren’t the pleasant memories of childhood that come to mind when you reminisce. This visual history was composed of all the things he wished he could take back, could do over again.

Turning again he looked at the crosses, perusing the faces of the men on the outer crosses before fixing his eyes on the middle cross. Against his will, the reeling thoughts came again with all the ugliness from the depths of his heart. Jesus turned slightly and their eyes locked. The roar in his head became a deafening silence. Every noise ceased as his surroundings seemed to fall away. He was aware that Jesus was not just looking at him but into him and that somehow Jesus was aware of all the thoughts that had been flying through his head just moments ago.

What would it be like to talk to this man, to sit across from him at a table, listening to his ideas about politics and life and… anything really? Jesus would go to the heart of the matter like right now. In the silence, this man on the cross was speaking volumes to his heart. If he could only ask what it all meant. But it was too late. In the days to come he would be quite close to Jesus but there would be no chance to have a conversation. By then this man that everyone was talking about would be silenced forever. Not everyone agreed on this point however.

Some of Jesus’ followers said this would not be the case. They believed, or at least claimed, that Jesus would come back to life in three days. If these claims were true then he would have the chance to speak to Jesus. He allowed his mind to wander in that direction. Might he get the opportunity to ask all the questions that were now flooding his soul? He was sure this man could erase all his confusion. Maybe things would work out after all. Hope welled up inside followed immediately by intense fear.

How terrible it would be to sit across from this man who could look into your soul and know all about you. His self control had allowed him to safely hide inside himself for so long that even his wife didn’t know the real him. Facing the truth this way would shake his very foundations. The life he had built for himself would surely crumble. He was not sure he could face any more soul searching than he had already faced today. Hoping never to see this man again, he turned from the cross to leave the mount.

He would know soon enough. Only one hope would be realized. Both could not co-exist in the light of day as they now did in the storm clouds of his thoughts
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This article has been read 849 times
Member Comments
Member
Date
Virginia Gorg
05/12/06
Interesting take on a familiar event. It's well done but the ending left me wondering. Did this man really hope never to see Jesus again? It seemed his deep, hidden faith floundered a lot there and didn't quite fit in with earlier comments. It flows well and reads nice.
Helen Paynter
05/15/06
I like this very much, especially the last line. He was ambivalent about meeting Jesus, becasue he knew Jesus could pierce his heart with his eyes. Great take on the topic, and a piece that deserves to do well.
Helen Paynter
05/15/06
O, and I've just noticed the title (becasue I tend to read backwards!) which is brilliant. Very well done.