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Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Fulfillment (04/06/06)
As I am being lifted,
towards the amazing ungifted,

I am not pleased at how they treat me,
neither pleased at how the wind embraces me,

As I am crying out with an upsetting sound,
all I can hear is the laughter all around,

As I struggle towards safety,
I catch myself crying tranquilly,

Suddenly I begin to unveil my tears,
not only from their joking, but my fears,

10 stories high, that's where my heart,
stopped and I was then left apart,

10 stories high, that's where my mind,
went blank and a faint came & left me blind

As I am finally put to rest that night,
I was glad I had peace but wondered a tight

And when it was all over, to them, a joke,
but to me, I was still in the shape to mope,
and now I have fulfilled my destiny,
all the way to eternity.
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Member Comments
Member
Date
Jan Ackerson
04/17/06
I'm not sure I understand this poem: has the narrator committed suicide? I've read it several times, and that's what it seems to me--in which case, it is very troubling. Were you going for irony, perhaps? The poem is sad, in any case, and you've done a good job of conveying that emotion.
Thomas Kappel
04/18/06
This is disturbing poem. The author makes us care about the narrator by sharing her honest feelings and emotions and we are unsure what happens to her at the end. Perhaps a sorority initiation or a dare among friends? Heart stopped, mind went blank, fainted as they laughed but she fulfilled her destiny.
Marilyn Schnepp 
04/18/06
I wanted to understand...so read this three times, but still am stymied. Some expressions ie; "wondered a tight", for instance; did not help my ponderings as to what was happening. Great potential here I am sure! Perhaps it's the Reader, not the Writer...(smile) Thank you for sharing.