Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Fulfillment (04/06/06)
- TITLE: Never Finding Fulfillment
By Jen Davis
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Lynn was a beautiful and precocious child. She loved to perform. She sang, she danced, she modeled, and she twirled a baton. But she didn’t do very well in school. She had difficulty reading the words on the page. They were turned in funny directions and she could not make sense out of them. She had dyslexia, but it took awhile for anyone to discover it. So she was held back in school and didn’t get the help she needed for many years. As the time went by she tended to focus more on her shortcomings than on the many gifts and talents that God had given her.
When Lynn was a teenager she was in a serious car accident. While sitting in the center back seat, she was not wearing her seatbelt. Upon impact she crashed through the front windshield, face first, and was thrown from the vehicle. She required immediate plastic surgery to mend her broken face. For some time afterwards her face remained swollen and distorted beyond recognition. Before coming home from the hospital, her parents removed every mirror in the house and covered any reflective surface. They had been warned by the doctors not to allow their daughter to see herself, concerned that she would be traumatized by what she saw. They kept her sedated on pain killers while her body struggled to heal the damage that had been done. The drugs helped her to cope.
Over time the scars on her face healed incredibly well. The doctors and her family were so pleased with the progress she had made. But the wounds inside her continued to worsen over the years and the pain she felt inside intensified. She turned to the one thing she knew for pain—drugs. When the drugs were not enough she added alcohol to the mix seeking to fill this void she felt in her soul.
She said she had placed her faith in God, but when she encountered problems in her life she would turn to drugs and alcohol instead of the One who could fill that void. She tried from time to time to break free of her addictions, but then something would happen to lure her back in. She was always seeking fulfillment but never finding it.
One Saturday afternoon the lure of false promises was cast out and she took it. First by drinking alcohol, but it wasn’t enough, so she began taking pills trying to sate this tormented feeling of emptiness. She continued to mix the drugs and alcohol until she was so out of control that her boyfriend had enough and walked out and left her. She was so angry, she grabbed the first thing she could get her hands on and threw it across the room. Her rage intensified and she lashed out at the room as if it were her adversary. She exhausted herself with her tirade. Finally, she surrendered. She was out of control and she knew it. She knew she had to stop doing this. With drugged eyes she stared at the clock while the numbers composed themselves. It was late; she needed to sleep this off. Tomorrow would be different she promised herself. She had tried and failed many times before, but this time it would be different. She got ready for bed, crawled under the covers, but when the sun rose that Sunday morning—she never woke up.
‘One who is full loathes honey from the comb, but to the hungry even what is bitter tastes sweet.’ (Proverbs 27:7-TNIV)
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