Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Help (02/20/06)
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TITLE: Wise as a Serpent | Previous Challenge Entry
By Elaine Taylor
02/27/06 -
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The Abbott family was a different story. Buford Abbott, Eugenia's beloved father, was one of the wealthiest plantation owners in the Delta. He was also incredibly frugal. So, while other families were doing without, the Abbotts still maintained a luxurious lifestyle. Hence, the reason for the unanimous vote to meet in much greener pastures. Eugenia was an old maid. Her mother died while giving her life. Her father never remarried and doted on his only child. Though plain, she was intelligent, compassionate and possessed an adventuresome spirit. Her father treated her like an equal. When she made her debut, there were plenty of suitors (for there was plenty of money) but Miss Abbott realized that she preferred freedom over a loveless marriage. Buford Abbott was secretly delighted that she remained at home; he would have missed her companionship terribly along with the money that would have been spent on a wedding trousseau and European tour.
Father and daughter agreed on almost everything but the issue of slavery. Buford wanted to keep them while Eugenia wanted to free them. True, the slaves on the Abbott plantation were treated well, had sturdy, neat cottages to live in and plenty of nourishing food and drink, but they were still slaves. Miss Abbott, realizing that with the passing of her father she would inherit his entire estate, decided to put aside her arguments, reasonings and pleadings. Eventually they would belong to her and she would set them free.
Meanwhile, she had heard about the Underground Railroad and used their home in town to help smuggle slaves out of the South and into the North. Having the HELP meetings in her own home provided her with valuable information from the wives of generals and slave hunters. Miss Abbott knew what she was doing was extremely dangerous, but at the same time she was having a lot of fun
plotting and planning her next strategy.
Hopefully, she would not be caught. Hopefully, the North would win the war. Until then, she would do her utmost to help slaves to freedom and she would do just that one glass of lemonade at a time.
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Critique: Needs paragraphs broken down into smaller ones, and needs an intriguing beginning, (an enticement, a snare, some kind of an excitement to draw the Reader in) and the conclusion needs a smashing end. an oomph! effect...; Long & short of it; Great for FW, but Editing for elsewhere. (Honesty is the best policy)
Keep writing.