The Official Writing Challenge
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Member Comments
Member
Date
03/01/06
An interesting touch of history that shows how God uses a person to carry out his programme of love and change. Well told story.
03/02/06
Ooh! I like this. Is there another chapter coming along?
03/05/06
Comment: very interesting story, and well written.
Critique: Needs paragraphs broken down into smaller ones, and needs an intriguing beginning, (an enticement, a snare, some kind of an excitement to draw the Reader in) and the conclusion needs a smashing end. an oomph! effect...; Long & short of it; Great for FW, but Editing for elsewhere. (Honesty is the best policy)
03/05/06
PS: On second read...I have second thoughts; I DO like the ending; it would have made a nice title "One Leomonade At A Time". (smile)
Keep writing.