Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Exam (09/12/13)
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TITLE: The Ultimate Test | Previous Challenge Entry
By Deborah Sampson
09/19/13 -
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She did what she was told but she was not expecting what she saw as she opened the door.
There before her were rows of desks and chairs. In those chairs were many people, each one appeared to be taking a test.
She utterly did not understand. Why was she sent here? Some of the people had smiles on their faces while many were in deep concentration.
Megan had never heard of an exam or test when you got to this level. How could she not have known? Smooth sailing was what she expected upon arrival. There should not have been any problems or delays. Maybe she did not have the right place? And if she didn’t have the right place where was she?
Megan turned the test packet over in front of her; oh my goodness was all she could say.
She stared at the questions.
They were all about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. There were one hundred or so questions.
Please answer true or false. Read the question and mark true or false for each one.
Many of the questions Megan read she answered quickly. For many she did know. About an hour later she put her pencil down. Immediately an elderly woman came over and smiled as she reached for the packet. “Just a minute dear, I’ll put this in the correction box.” she just happened to have it with her.
“My Miss Jones, you have rated yourself with a comfortable B. Nice job!”
“Could you tell me, what that means?” She asked as she looked at the older woman. “For I don’t have any idea why I am here and why I just took a test.”
“Dear, I can’t tell you, but you will soon be called into another room and they will be able to explain better to you.”
Megan soon was called into room 2772. Now maybe she could get to the bottom of this mystery.
“Hello, Miss Jones, please set down.” The man was standing in front of a large desk. He looked like-well- like an angel or what one would look like she supposed.
You must be pleased with the B you received on your exam. Many here do very well but some just barely make a passing mark.
“Sir, what am I doing here, and why a test?”
“Miss Jones, don’t you know that you’re at the entry level for entering Heaven?” And by the way my name is St. Peter. Ever hear of me?
Megan couldn’t do anything else except stare at this man. “What in the world? I just never heard of this part in studying the Bible, eh, God’s Word. And Jesus is the living word and He never said anything either about this place. I must be dreaming, I really must have hit my head or had an accident because this can’t be happening.
“Miss Jones, you have reached a point in your life at seventeen, that you have been advised to come here. You have shown that you have studied well. You have given your heart to the Lord, and have been living a life filled with the knowledge that you need and want Jesus in your life all the time. Many people do not reach this their whole lives. Let me commend you my dear.”
As she looked at St. Peter she couldn’t see him as clear as she first did, in fact everything began to look foggy. She felt herself drifting off, but she couldn’t help herself.
“Megan, honey this is your mom, please honey wake up you have to wake up now!” Her mother’s voice sounded so urgent.
“Mom, she called out as she opened her eyes, where am I?” she moaned as she tried to move.
“Honey you’ve been in an accident and unconscious for a few hours. You are at St. Rita’s Hospital. You have a concussion and will need to be here for a few days.
“Oh Mom, let me tell you where I really was!” Megan looked at her mother as she spoke the words. “You just won’t believe it!”
The glow around her daughter was evident. Something made her look this way.
“Tell me Megan.” Her mother reached for her daughter’s hand.
“Mom do you know who St. Peter is? Well I have just been talking to him. Oh yes, Jesus is real!”
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I think the only reason it may not have ranked higher is because some of the transitions felt a bit choppy to me. Even your beginning was backward, talking about polite people before she entered It's a subtle difference, but something like: As Megan entered, her heart pounded. This was what she expected at all. The lady at the desk smiled and said, "Go down the hall, knock on the last door on the left, and then enter."
Megan relaxed a bit. At least the people here are polite.
I know that's not perfect, but it helps set up the scene while showing the conflict with Megan's pounding heart.
Overall, though, you really did a nice job. You covered the topic in such a fresh way. Your ending was great It resolved the conflict and left me with a warm feeling. I look forward to reading more of your work. You have a delightful knack for storytelling. Congratulations for placing 8th in your level!(The highest rankings can be found on the message boards)