The Official Writing Challenge
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Very sweet story. In the first part I couldn't figure out whose head we were in. At first it seemed to be the wifes POV (her husband stirred)and then it went to the dad/husband. Easy fix though. Good job.
You did a wonderful job with this piece. The beginning was spectacular and created a sense of mystery and suspense that propels the reader forward.

You had some tiny errors like okay should be spelled out or both letters capitalized--OK. Also when using Mom as a name it is capitalized but if you put a qualifier in front of it like my or his then it should be in lowercase.

I think the dialog between the father and son was great. I could feel love and concern in both voices. The idea to match a teen son with an elderly blind neighbor is a fantastic idea. We need to encourage our kids to respect and treat their elders kindly. This story showed that quite clearly. I also really like that the son had the answer to the conflict. When writing children's stories, many adults tend to have the grown-ups resolve the conflict but it is much better to have the teen or the kid do it. Now your story may not have started off to be a teen's story, but with some polishing I could easily see this in a Sunday School take home paper or a young teen magazine. Good job.
You've given us some very good dialogue in this piece. Good job.
This entry was moving and held my attention throughout. The piece had an air of authenticity along with the realistic dialogue.
Thanks. God bless~
Interesting story between an elderly blind woman and a teenager neighbour. I like how it ends too with Clayton going to search the Bible for gardens and I know he will learn more than about gardens in the Bible.