Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Question (05/24/12)
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TITLE: will you commit | Previous Challenge Entry
By matt renkema
05/31/12 -
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Your hard work would be a little easier to read with a little more white space.
I enjoyed reading this.
Some suggestions to make your article even better - break it into several small paragraphs and double space between them. You may want to check message boards to fi d a challenge buddy to help you catch errors like --woman's should be women's and aution instead of auction, along with some punctuation polishing.
I was worried that it was off topic, perhaps if you asked the question in the beginning and then again in end it would bring your story full-circle.
I really admire the way you are able to string your words together so they come out as poetry. I could so identify with the loneliness part. I've seen people give up their respect and dignity in exchange of not feeling lonely. You do a wonderful job of making the reader think.