Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: Download/Upload (11/17/11)
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TITLE: Through the Cracks | Previous Challenge Entry
By Michelle Meyers
11/28/11 -
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ADD TO MY FAVORITES
Beneath the weight
Head down
He felt put down,
Beat on, humiliated
At home
You’re no good,
Stupid, lazy
Worthless
All of his 15 years,
A ceaseless flow
Of criticism
Heartfelt, soul-felt
Defeating
His spirit
It weighed him down
A load to crush him
A download
For 6 hours
On week days he
Felt encouraged
Capable, smart
Work hard
You can do it
We appreciate you,
Glad you are here
You can do anything
He thought maybe
He could do
Anything, sometimes
It made him feel good
Lighter in spirit
An upload
Could an equilibrium
Be reached, the good
Offset the bad?
Would the upload
Cancel out the
Download?
Might he be lifted?
To reach his
Potential?
To discover and
Realize his God-given
Talents?
Or would he slip
Through the cracks
The download too much
Unable to find
Enough hope
To try
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I would suggest you add a little more imagery to this poem. A few more metaphors would add more "flavor" to the poem.
Great job! Keep up the good work!
The ending was wonderful. Thanks for a blessed piece of writing!