Previous Challenge Entry (Level 1 – Beginner)
Topic: The Comedy of Errors (not about the play) (08/18/11)
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TITLE: WHICH WAY HOME | Previous Challenge Entry
By Barbara Green
08/25/11 -
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Finally Sunday arrived – a cloudy day. She set the alarm ½ hour earlier because Ephrata, home of the historic, Ephrata Cloister, as well as ECC, was located 16 miles from her home.
Heather drove slowly onto the sprawling, church, parking lot. Suddenly she noticed a friend she had just met at Clipper Stadium a few days ago. She waved and received a warm greeting from her new friend, Beverly, from the Bronx.
She thought that’s a good sign. This is going to be a blessed day! As she entered the church, the entrance opposite from the small pond, she was met by two, familiar greeters. One greeter, Emma, had worked with her in the communion ministry.
She eased into the sanctuary. Instead of sitting upfront, her custom, she noticed Beverly in the back, and slide into the seat beside her. Glancing at the church flyer, she noted that Beth Moore, was going to be teaching next month via simulcast. Alright! Praise and worship was delightful. Her multi-colored streamer twirled high above the seats to “Our God Reigns.”
When the children were released for classes, people were encouraged to chat with friends. It was so good to share with Keith, a former, small group friend, Barbara, a friend who had enjoyed the shore with her, and Mary Ann who shared her interest in concerts. The sermon was meaningful so her tablet was crammed with notes. She loved a new venture – a different chapter in her life!
After the service she said her good-byes, and ran into a friend, Mary Sue, who was a dine-out buddy. It felt like she was home again, and it was certainly worth the drive!
On the way home, as she turned the corner onto Oregon Pike, traffic was bumper- to-bumper. Oh no! Westminster Presbyterian Church parking lot was emptying quickly, and the cars were blocking her easy entrance to Lancaster, her destination. Her stomach made “give me food now” noises.
She glanced to her left and noticed a small, strip mall. She reasoned she could solve her problem by cutting through the mall and avoiding all those Presbyterians. Good thinking! She congratulated herself as she turned onto Landis Valley Road. Whoa! She ran smack into cars streaming from Calvary Church! She needed another plan! Slowly she kept following her nose, not familiar with the area, until she recognized Rt. 23. She flashed her right blinker, and a kind soul left her onto, you guessed it, bumper-to-bumper traffic which exited from the Worship Center parking lots about a mile away!
By now Heather was laughing at the absurdity of it all as she approached the Eden Fire Company. Quickly she turned right where she “escaped” all bumper-to-bumper traffic! She vowed to eat out next Sunday and avoid all the church traffic!
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I would have focused a bit more on the "comedy of errors" part. To me, at least, it felt like it was kind of "tacked on" to the end.
Good job with this. Keep writing.
This was a cute story but I thought you could have used more funny mistakes in the beginning. Telling us she what time she set her clock isn't really relevant to the story but you could have added something funny there like the alarm didn't go off so she was late and in her hurry she put on mismatching shoes or something silly like that. Try to make every word essential to the story.
I also thought you did a great job with the humor at the end. I laughed out loud at the line about the Presbytraians.
This was a cute story but I thought you could have used more funny mistakes in the beginning. Telling us she what time she set her clock isn't really relevant to the story but you could have added something funny there like the alarm didn't go off so she was late and in her hurry she put on mismatching shoes or something silly like that. Try to make every word essential to the story.
I also thought you did a great job with the humor at the end. I laughed out loud at the line about the Presbyterians. You did a nice job with this. Keep telling the stories that God puts in your heart.
I enjoyed this fully, a lot of funny lines throughout the story...Good job. God Bless~