The Official Writing Challenge
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Date
08/25/11
Hehehe This is cute. Many times I have "escaped" one traffic jam, only to enter another!

I would have focused a bit more on the "comedy of errors" part. To me, at least, it felt like it was kind of "tacked on" to the end.

Good job with this. Keep writing.
I liked the MC and her attitude about going home to her own church. There's something really special about that and you managed to really capture it.

This was a cute story but I thought you could have used more funny mistakes in the beginning. Telling us she what time she set her clock isn't really relevant to the story but you could have added something funny there like the alarm didn't go off so she was late and in her hurry she put on mismatching shoes or something silly like that. Try to make every word essential to the story.

I also thought you did a great job with the humor at the end. I laughed out loud at the line about the Presbytraians.
I liked the MC and her attitude about going home to her own church. There's something really special about that and you managed to really capture it.

This was a cute story but I thought you could have used more funny mistakes in the beginning. Telling us she what time she set her clock isn't really relevant to the story but you could have added something funny there like the alarm didn't go off so she was late and in her hurry she put on mismatching shoes or something silly like that. Try to make every word essential to the story.

I also thought you did a great job with the humor at the end. I laughed out loud at the line about the Presbyterians. You did a nice job with this. Keep telling the stories that God puts in your heart.
08/26/11
Hahahahahaha...Once again a story everyone can relate to. I love stories where the reader can say, "Oh that happened to me so many times."

I enjoyed this fully, a lot of funny lines throughout the story...Good job. God Bless~